We're down to six. It's Bon Jovi night. I have a feeling that I am going to be reminded tonight of why I own exactly zero Bon Jovi records. First up is Phil with "Blaze of Glory". I thought he did really well. And true to form, he looked as creepy as ever. The judges liked it. When Jordin met Bon Jovi, she said that her Mom loved them. They had to be thrilled to hear that. She chose "Livin' On A Prayer". The song reminds me of every burnout in a blue jean jacket with a wool collar and dirty white Nikes back in high school. Jordin did okay with the song. She hilariously dwarfed both guitarists who played alongside her. The judges didn't care for it and Simon said it was terrrible. She should have cried.
Lakisha, who better step it up this week, was next. She did a Bon Jovi ballad that I had never heard of (imagine that). She nailed it perfectly. The judges raved over it and Simon even kissed her. She just may have saved herself. This was followed by a now black-haired Blake, who insisted on putting his own spin on "You Give Love A Bad Name". Jon Bon Jovi virtually begged him not to. The clown did it anyway. It was an annoying mix of average singing and imitation beatboxing. Of course the judges loved the "innovation". So I guess they will allow rappers to start auditioning for this next year, right?
Oh hells no! Was that Baby Spice in a commercial for spaghetti sauce? With Posh's soccer husband coming to the U.S. and Scary's baby momma drama with Eddie Murphy, that makes three of the Spice Girls back in the public eye. Time for Sporty and Ginger to step on up. I can just see the reunion coming.
After the commercial, it was time for Chris. Ryan called him "Justin Timberlake". Hey, I do that too! He did "Wanted Dead or Alive" and forgot the words in rehearsal, humiliating himself right in front of JBJ. He hit the stage and did a perfectly mediocre version of the song. I would say that he is gone this week. Melinda had the show closer. She did a new song called "Have A Nice Day". She just ripped it. Best performance of the night. The judges loved it as well. They closed out with a taped appearance from The President and the First Lady thanking the viewers for donating money last week. Such great comedy. Tonight Chris and somebody will be leaving plus live Bon Jovi. Should be fun.
Britney is back-- sort of. According to perezhilton.com, Britney did her first "comeback concert" in San Diego last night at the House of Blues. Her outfit was described as "a brunette wig with a black headband, sparkling bustier, fur coat, white skirt and knee-high boots". No word on if crack was involved. She went a whopping 15 minutes, lip synched the entire time and barely addressed the crowd. Baby, what was the point? I told my sister in Chicago that if Britney was coming to the House of Blues up there that I wanted to come up for it. Strangely enough, I heard a dial tone seconds later.
Gee, I wonder if Lindsay Lohan's rehab did any good? According to celebritybabylon.com, she showed up at a party in Palm Springs last weekend and within a half hour, had taken off her shirt and was dancing around in a bra (above). I might also add that Firecrotch is only 20 and hanging out in bars and clubs. I can only imagine what will happen when she has actual legal access to alcohol. Doesn't it seem that Mean Girls was like thirty years ago?
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