Why On Earth...?

In an attempt to get the shittiest publicity possible, it appears that Total Nonstop Action Wrestling has (or is about to) sign suspended NFL star Pacman Jones to a contract to appear for their wrestling organization. At a time when they should probably be hiding from the national media because they apparently don't have a drug policy, they have just put themselves

in the spotlight. Oh, they had it so good when no one even they existed. This should be interesting...

When In Doubt...

... blame the black guy. Last week after Lindsay Lohan commandeered someone else's car to chase her assistant's mother down the highway, while running red lights and going 100 miles an hour, the police finally stopped her and asked who was driving. She reportedly said "I wasn't driving, the black kid was driving". She then took a sobriety test where she had to touch her nose and almost fell down.

In related poetic justice, her new movie "I Know Who Killed Me" reportedly made $3.4 million this weekend, a bonafide flop. Damn, even WWE movies make more than that! She got straight up clowned. See ya in the clearance bin, beeyotch!

Weekend Notes

- Usher was supposed to get married on Saturday but the wedding was called off. His bride-to-be was pregnant and was bringing three more (presumably bad) kids into the relationship from a previous marriage. Apparently at the last minute he found out that he was young and rich and broke out with a case of Whatthehellamithinking and called the thing off. It's never too late.

- Why can't I stop laughing at the picture above?

- Britney continues her fall. She fired her latest assistant (who had been there for all of two weeks) . At the infamous OK! Magazine shoot, Britney used the bathroom often (with the door open), ate fried chicken and wiped her hands on expensive designer clothes, let her dog take a dump on some clothes, then stole $16,000 thousand dollars worth of clothes at the end of the shoot. All of this was blamed on the assistant. It's terrifying that this woman is also a parent. Man, is she making Federline look good or what? All he ever did was put out a bad rap album!

- Nicole Richie got sentenced to a whopping four days in jail for a DUI in December. See, the system does work. They've handed out tougher sentences on the Judge Joe Brown show.

You've Got Mail

"I got a letter from the government the other day..."-- "Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos" by Public Enemy (1988)

Among a number of bills, subscription renewal cards and coupon offers, the WWE offices got another letter in the mail on Friday. According to espn.com:

"In a move that significantly widens the impact of
wrestler Chris Benoit's murder-suicide case, two congressmen who opened steroid
hearings into Major League Baseball have requested that World Wrestling
Entertainment provide records pertaining to the WWE's testing policies and
practices.

In a three-page letter dated Friday,
Rep. Henry Waxman, the chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and
Government Reform, and Tom Davis, its ranking minority member, asked WWE to
provide a series of documents intended to give the committee and its
investigation a detailed look at WWE's drug-testing policy, including
information about the results of performance-enhancing drug tests on pro
wrestlers."

I smell a hearing. The mood is about to change.

Denial

Lindsay said the cocaine wasn't hers-- she just happened to switch jeans with a friend who was carrying cocaine in her pocket! Well, that's certainly easy to believe. I mean, what grown ass person isn't switching jeans with their friends before a night on the town? Sorry I jumped to conclusions.

Bad Times

In the aftermath of the Benoit tragedies, the news seems to keep going downhill for the world's biggest wrestling organization:

- Former WWE Champion (and arguably their freshest and best character) Edge will be out longer than expected with a torn pectoral muscle. He now is expected to be out around five months. This is worse than the Cardinals losing Chris Carpenter for a year.

- Ratings for Raw and ECW have been down for three weeks. Smackdown has remained the same, but hey, nobody watches that anyway.

- The stars of Jackass, including Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O, were supposed to be in a match at the SummerSlam pay-per-view in August but they pulled out after the Chris Benoit situation allegedly because they didn't want to be associated with the product at this time. Wow, the guys who once did a movie where one of them took an open dump in a hardward store didn't want to have their reputation soiled by associating with wresting. Ouch.

- According to a report at pwtorch.com, some WWE officials such as Shane and Stephanie McMahon, John Laurinatis, and Kevin Dunn each recently got rid of a nice chunk of WWE stock. Sort of like rats jumping off of The Titanic. Stay tuned.....

More Trouble

The trouble keeps piling up for former movie star Lindsay Lohan. In addition to getting a DUI and being charged with cocaine possession, other charges could be added later including wreckless driving, plus my boy Upgrade might charge her with wreckless eyeballing, which could of course lead to Pimp Arrest and a substancial fine.



In addition, she was reportedly trying to sell photos to tmz.com for $30,000. Apparently an advisor is keeping her money away from her (good move) so she was trying to raise some money (I wonder for what?). Your girl is a straight up fiend. It wouldn't surprise me if next week she was caught trying to sell a VCR to someone at 2AM for ten bucks. And with all of this going on, I'm sure her new movie is going to do well this weekend. The movie company must be thrilled.

And it must be asked: why in the world was she trying to mow down a grown woman at two in the morning? I've said it before and likely I'll say it several more times over the years: that's one bad bitch.

Say It Ain't So, Fire!

Wow, two weeks out of rehab and Lindsay is already busted for another DUI! I guess she looked at that ankle bracelet and said "Damn this!". That liquor and cocaine keeps calling her and calling her and calling her. Hmmm, what are the chances she will still be on Leno tonight?

The Crazy Train Rolls On

Things just keep getting sadder/scarier for America's former number one pop star. According to tmz.com, Britney's "tell-all" interview with OK! Magazine was a complete fiasco:

"According to multiple sources, Britney's behavior during the interview was "nothing less than a meltdown." She was, according to our sources, "completely out of it" during the shoot. The photos are "so bad" we've learned, that to publish them could "kill her career." Apparently, Brit Brit's eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we're told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks our source says, and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her."

That's just pathetic. I'm finally going to have to step in here. She obviously needs to get out of the spotlight for awhile. So I am officially inviting her to my summer home in Florissant this weekend for some shoot interviews, Cheetos, and a little WWE 24/7 so she can clear her mind and get back on track. Granted, I will keep her in a small cage, but it's for her own protection and mine as well. Sure I want to help, but I'm not trying to get stabbed by her crazy ass.

And What Have We Here?

It's the one and only Firecrotch back in top form this past weekend at the beach. The alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet that no one is actually monitoring is high comedy. She is scheduled to be on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno later tonight. She should wear this outfit just to make it more interesting. I'll try to catch it if I can stay awake that late.

Miss K

- Above is a picture of the lovely Kim Kardashian walking the red carpet last weekend. She is best known for .... ahhhhhhhhh ..... my staff is still trying to figure that one out.

- If you will kindly take your eyes off of Miss Kardashian's rack and take a look at the wall behind her, you will see that she is at an event hosted by the Nicole Brown Foundation.

- According to some conspiracy theories, Nicole Brown was killed by O.J. Simpson.


- Kim Kardashian's father Robert was a lawyer on O.J. Simpson's "Dream Team".

- Thus, this is wrong on so many levels.

- And yet, for some reason(s), I still give her a pass.

Will You Rock My World?

Rock of Love: Week Two. The verdict? Phenominal. This week's show centered around Erin (above) and the efforts of the rest of the girls to get her booted from the house. She may or may not have a fiance back home; she denied it, but she probably does. At the very least, we know she has a brass pole waiting back home. The rest of the girls were cracking on her oversized implants and couldn't wait to get her ousted. Jealousy! Erin got a good crack on one of the girls by saying the girl was good looking-- in the meth world. Nice! This show takes me back to the 80's and high school. In fact, one of the girls even declared that her and her friends were the varsity group and the other girls were the j.v. squad.



The only problem that I have with the show is that I can't tell most of these yamps apart. I can distinguish about four girls: Erin (the one with the biggest boobs), the black girl, the personal trainer lady, and the hideous one with the tattoos. The rest are pretty much interchangeable. Still, they are hanging in there with their Flavor of Love counterparts for pure entertainment and trashiness. And really, that's all that matters.

On The Set With Britney

These pictures were taken last week, allegedly during a shoot for Britney's next music video. Man, this is going to be a trainwreck of epic proportions. I haven't looked forward to a video this much since "Thriller" came out in 1983.

Hogan Knows Best Season Premiere

From the good folks at VH-1, it's another season of Hogan Knows Best, the reality show starring the number one wrestling star from my childhood, Hulk Hogan. Since ratings and interest were down last season, this year the writers came up with a plot where Hogan and his wife are supposed to be talking divorce. Of course, it's all contrived, so who cares. The season premiere was a tough show to sit through. After teasing the divorce angle, throughout the show Hogan and his wife kept talking about getting it on, which sent me running to dry heave in the toilet bowl like a teenage girl who had just drank too much Hennessey. As if that visual wasn't enough, they also showed Hogan on the toilet dropping a duece.

The kids were barely in this episode; it was mostly Hogan, his wife, and her enormous rack, which started to look like two Ball Park Franks from those old TV commercials. They went to see a marriage counselor, then they decided to have a "Wish Day" where one would grant the other three wishes with no argument. On Hulk's day, he chose for his wife to shave his back. I wish I were making this up. Then some more foolishness happened, blah blah blah, and it ended up with Hogan reading a poem and some tears were shed. I can't believe that I once cheered for this man to beat Randy Savage. My love/hate relationship with Hogan continues.....

Oh My Damn!

Here is a picture of season two Flavor of Love winner "Deelishis" from last week. I think it would be an appropriate time to quote the great 21st century philosophical poet Cornell Haynes Jr. ( a.k.a. Nelly), who once posed the thought-provoking question: "Is that ya ass or did your mama have reindeer?"

Publishing News

Kim Kardashian, best known for, well, uh, best known for, hmmmmmm, best known for making Hollywood Nation's Top 10 Hottest Women in the World List, just did a shoot for Playboy, according to E!'s Daily 10 show. While no one at the staff of Hollywood Nation can figure out just exactly what she's famous for, nonetheless we are still very excited and looking forward to the issue. Congrats, Kim!

Britney's Day At The Beach

Is there anything really surprising about Britney anymore? Does it really surprise anyone that on a whim she decided to pull over to the side of the road, strip down to her underwear, and jump in the ocean right in front of a crowd of photographers? In the "Ooops, I Did It Again" days, this might have led the NBC Evening News. Now it's just commonplace and sad. Even Mariah is sitting there chewing on some sunflower seeds while seeing this nonsense and saying "My God, this tramp is nuts".

John Kronus of the Eliminators Found Dead

From tmz.com:

"John Kronus (right), best known as half of The Eliminators tag team from Extreme Championship Wrestling (now owned by WWE), was found dead in his girlfriend's apartment late yesterday. A source tells TMZ that New Hampshire officials are treating this as a "suspicious death," and an autopsy has been ordered."

Uh Oh...

More Britney trouble. According to the New York Post:

"Now she's taken over as her own business manager and publicist. Though she's still signed to Jive Records, a source told Page Six, "She is doing all of her own business now." Our spy saw Spears at Aspen on West 22nd Street yesterday afternoon "signing contracts" - possibly related to the recent deal she inked to open a Las Vegas club. The messy mother of two recently cut ties with her manager Larry Rudolf, her mother, and her publicist."

Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable business decision. She probably signed over her entire fortune for a bag of magic beans or something. In addition, she allegedly exchanged slaps with her mother in an argument over the kids. When your life starts resembling old plots from WWE Raw, you know things have spiraled out of control.

The Results Are Back

The toxicology reports came back yesterday for Chris Benoit and according to cnn.com, they found testosterone, painkillers and anti-anxiety drugs in his system. Last night on CNN's Nancy Grace Show, WWE officials spent their time claiming that testosterone is not steroids, which according to other experts is not true. On top of that, after the WWE reps (their lawyer and the doctor who administers the drug tests) had their say, they wouldn't appear with the rest of the panel which included Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer, Bryan Alvarez of Figure Four Weekly, Konnan and Marc Mero. It may not have been their intention, but it sure appeared that they were running like dogs. Something to hide?



Here are three key points that keep sticking out in my mind:



1) As Wade Keller of the Pro Wrestling Torch said in one of his updates, WWE's main focus seems to be distancing the Benoit situation from steroids. They do it so much that it's almost to the point that it comes off like they are the lawyer for steroids.


2) As stated in last week's Wrestling Observer, when is WWE going to come out and say that they don't want steroids in their company and they welcome and embrace any kind of regulation that can help them get rid of the drugs and curtail the tragedies? Don't hold your breath for that one.

3) I don't understand the WWE wrestlers who attack guys like Mero and the wrestling journalists for "hating wrestling" and such nonsense. Hey, I like wrestling as much as anyone. But you would have to be an absolute fool not to see that there is a problem. Obviously, self-regulation is not working; it's time for Plan B. The death rate among the wrestlers that I grew up watching when I was a teenager is staggering. It's way past time to make the needed changes to stop these folks from dropping like flies. And since WWE takes up 95% of the industry, why not start there?

Going Back To Khali

The Great Khali was crowned as the new World Champion tonight in Laredo, Texas after winning a 20-Man Battle Royal at the WWE Smackdown tapings. Something tells me that we are on the verge of some very thrilling title matches.

Khali's victory came about because Edge had to vacate the title after suffering a torn pec during his brawl with Kane on last week's Smackdown. He will be out for an undisclosed amount of time. The staff of Hollywood Nation wishes him a speedy recovery.

She's Back

Lindsay Lohan completed her 45 days in rehab and it was reported that she immediately was seen partying in Hollywood and Vegas this past weekend. What a recovery! Allegedly she didn't drink any alcohol and wore an alcohol monitoring system. Still, it's only a matter of time before she is hitting the grape. I mean, look at the harlots that she was hanging out with above. No good can come from that.

In addition, she has more trouble ahead because one of her ex-boyfriends had his computer hacked (or some ridiculous story) and now some naked photos of her might be coming out. Just shocking. (Gasp) Oh my, what will this do to her image?!?

Posh's Reality Special

I caught about ten minutes total of Posh Spice's reality show last night on NBC. Apparently

the series was supposed to be six episodes but the footage was so boring that they had to cut it to a one hour special. In one segment, she was blatantly cheating on her driver's license test, but she did pass. She almost had a heart attack when the black guy from the DMV came up from behind her and asked a question. I half way expected them to show her putting her purse closer to her feet. Then she was being interviewed by Perez Hilton. She took it pretty well when he said that he had previously referred to her as a space alien with boobs. She stood up and asked if her boobs really looked that huge in person. That was pretty hot. She also sarcastically said that she didn't want to be seen eating or smiling, so she could preserve her public image. Pretty funny stuff. Perez asked if there were any celebs that she didn't like and she said Eddie Murphy. I can't knock that because even I had to turn my back on him after that Norbit crap. Anyway, the couple of segments that I saw were pretty good and made Posh seem like an actual human. I still turned it off to read the Wrestling Observer Newsletter though but it was still a good effort.

Results from TNA's Victory Road 2007

- Samoa Joe won the TNA World Tag Team Titles in the Match of Champions. He can now pick anyone to be his partner. Rick and Scott Steiner interfered at the end to cause the Dudleys to lose.

- Sting and Abyss beat A.J. Styles and Tomko. At the end, Father James Mitchell came out and told Sting and Abyss to enjoy the victory while they can because his new man was on the way.

- Christian Cage beat Chris Harris due to interference from Tomko and the returning Dustin Rhodes.

- Gail Kim and Eric Young beat Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks in a fun match. It looks like Roode and Ms. Brooks might be splitting because he was berating and shoving her after she lost the fall. Young came back in and pulled down Roodes trunks at the end. I tried not to laugh; I failed.

- Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley a.k.a. The Motor City Machine Guns beat Mr. Backlund and Jerry Lynn. The MCMs are pretty much the best tag team going. Their action figures are getting the featured spot at work tomorrow.

- James Storm beat Rhino in a good match. This is a good feud. Storm won by using the beer bottle. He tied up Rhino afterwards and poured beer on him again. Strong angle. Even I was getting pissed. But that was mostly because I was on the treadmill at the time and out of breath.

- The Voodoo Kin Mafia beat Doug Basham and The Damaja. Am I the only person who still goes crazy when VKM comes out? They brought out some weird looking voodoo princess (I couldn't tell if it was a guy or a girl) and he/she beat up sweet little Christy.

- The opening match was a 10-Man Ultimate X Gauntlet match that was really good. I was happy to see Elix Skipper return. Kazarian is the shit. I thought people were going to fall or break their necks many times but everyone turned out fine. Christopher Daniels won and reformed "XXX" with Senshi and Skipper at the end.

- Overall, it was a really good show, the kind of stuff I usually expect from TNA.

VH-1 Does It Again

Just as VH-1 wrapped up its seasons of Celebrity Fit Club and Flavor of Love: Charm School, they didn't miss a step as they not only brought back the phenominal World Series of Pop Culture, but also debuted two new shows on Sunday night-- Scott Baio Is 45 and Single, along with Rock of Love, the latest Flavor of Love spin-off.

Scott Baio is 45 and Single focuses on 70s & 80s TV icon Scott Baio. I didn't care for him as Chachi in Happy Days, but I loved Charles In Charge. I thought him and Lembeck were great. Anyway, this show focuses on Charles' attempt to find a meaningful relationship. He gets a life coach who makes him stop seeing his girlfriend for two months. Then he has to track down old girlfriends to see why they broke up. We also get to see contrived scenes of him hanging out with the lamest posse of all-time, which consists of two goofs that he grew up with and the older brother from the Wonder Years, who I've always hated since he dated my favorite wrestling diva Missy Hyatt in the early 90's. He also serves as co-executive producer of the show. For the record, the other executive producer is Eric Bischoff, who was previously best known for running World Championship Wrestling-- into the ground. Which doesn't bode well for this series. Actually the show was kind of funny in some spots and does offer some nostalgia, such as seeing Joanie from Happy Days at an autograph signing. Next week we get to see Mike's girlfriend from Growing Pains. I don't think Pam Anderson will agree to a cameo. Regardless, I think I'm on board for the duration.


This was followed by the highly anticipated Rock of Love, basically the white version of Flavor of Love, starring Poison frontman Bret Michaels. It was everything that I expected and more. They took 25 broads straight out of an 80's rock video and put them in a house with Michaels so that he could find his "true love". Yeah, right. In a hilarious moment, the bodyguard cut five ladies right away before they even entered the house. Well, he actually only cut four because one of them wouldn't take "no" for an answer and humiliated herself by begging to come back (even offering to sleep on the floor). S he later embarrassed herself even further by being the first one drunk and hitting the stripper pole. The rest of the show was filled with drinking, picture taking, boob job comparisons, one-on-ones (where Michaels found out that most of the girls were ditzy) and such quotes as "being a slut is soooooo last year". At the elimination ceremony, instead of clocks, he gave out backstage passes. He even kept the drunk reject girl (probably because she will cause the most drama). The Flavor of Love franchise continues to roll on...

A Brooke Hogan Sighting

Brooke Hogan appeared on MTV's Wild N Out last night (without Daddy by her side for once). Miraculously, she made it the whole show without anyone pointing out her poor record sales or that she looks just like her Dad. At one point, she did a Hogan imitation and let's just say she has nothing on me. Anyway, it was a fun appearance: she got to do some improv, she wore a tight skirt, and she made a couple of dirty jokes, so it was all good. Also yesterday, in the grand tradition of the Debbie Gibson/Tiffany era, she announced some dates for a mall tour. What I wouldn't do to go to a Brooke Hogan mall concert. Comedy Gold. GOLD:



July 13th, Ocean County Mall in Tom's River, NJ.

July 21st, Emerald Square Mall in N. Attleborough, MA

July 27th, Montgomery Mall in North Wales, PA.

August 10th, Town Center at Cobb in Atlanta, GA

August 19th, Orland Square Mall in Orland Park, Il.

August 25th, Northgate Mall in Seattle, WA.

August 26th, Tacoma Mall in Tacoma, WA.

September 2nd, Laguna Hills Mall in Laguna Hills, CA.

In Case You Were Wondering...

If you happened to catch Sunday's Flavor of Love: Charm School reunion, you may have thought there was no hope for the walking piece of sass known as Larissa. Well cheer up; your girl is going to be just fine. According to flavoroflove.blogspot.com, Larissa saw herself on TV and has renounced her wicked ways:

In a bulletin sent to Black Press Magazine (she says) : "I am a new and improved Larissa. I noticed that walking about being a bitch to everybody ain't bringing me nowhere so I'ma change and stop being a bitch".

"I've been watching Charm School on my own time and I'm always picking on somebody and being a Bully! This 'motha-fucka' has changed into being a nice little angel, lol. Thanks to Mo' who talked with me this morning and told me to give it a shot".

"If someone is trying to betray me or start something I will get back into being a Bitch and tell you off, mad quick. Just like I told off Leilene at the Club. That's just an example of how it will be. But I'ma be a nice and sweet Larissa. I luv y'all".

Yeah, I'm crying-- so what. It was so emotional. A leopard can change its spots. Sniff.

Whatever You Do, Don't Look Down

Don't you just hate when they totally lose it?

According to the London Mirror, Madonna had the following bizarre demand for people who were going to interview her at the Live Earth concert last weekend:

"Presenters at the Live Earth concerts over the weekend were advised by Madonna's people to memorize all questions and to never lower ones eyes, "or the interview will be terminated," a source told The London Mirror."

What a nutcase. Don't lower your eyes? What? Why? Who cares? The first thing I would do is look her in the eye and ask her why she is using that annoying English accent when she is really from Detroit, Michigan. It would pretty much go downhill from there. Then out of spite, I would look down intentionally and be escorted out. I can only imagine what she is teaching that kid that she adopted from Africa. I'm sure he figured out she was nuts within the first five minutes.

Word Life

Quote of the Week:



“I’m just glad Larry King was professional enough to have people that are actually involved in the WWE on his program"-- John Cena on Monday, taking a shot at the cable news shows covering the Chris Benoit situation. In actuality WWE (except for their lawyer) has refused all media requests since June 28th.

We Don't Need No Water.....

Beyonce graced my little town on Sunday night for a show at the Scottrade Center.

During the show, two fans in the front row got minor burns from some errant pyro and were taken to the hospital. In a really smart move, she actually showed up at the hospital after the concert and chatted with the two fans for 45 mintues. She also offered to fly them to a show in another city to make up for the injuries. On one hand, yeah her little visit probably avoided a major lawsuit but on the other hand, me and her were supposed to go out and split a box of catfish nuggets that night but she ran out of time. Maybe next tour.

Congratulations

Congratulations to Good Day L.A. co-host and FOX NFL Sunday weather woman Jillian Barberie, who gave birth to a baby girl last week. Two good things: 1) it's not Eddie Murphy's and 2) hey, football starts in less than two months!

Bikini Update

Here are a couple of bikini photos that popped up around the internet yesterday. First off is Hulk Hogan's giant little girl, Brooke (below) who was accused on a couple of sites of having a new set of implants. No way-- someone in the Hogan family using artificial means to enhance their appearance? It could never happen!


Then below is a shot of Mimi on a boat. Just because.

The Reviews Are In.....

According to the New York Post's Page Six gossip column:

"Mariah Carey just finished filming "Tennessee," her follow-up to the execrable "Glitter," and co-wrote a song with Willie Nelson for the soundtrack. Word from the set is she's "really, really good" in it - "It might be the cinema equivalent to the Red Sox winning the World Series" we're told."

She's really, really good in it? Wow, that must mean she takes it all off. I smell an Oscar.

Charm School Reunion

One week after the tear-filled and emotional season finale of Charm School, the skanks, er, ladies were back to mid-season form on the reunion show. It was an hour of sass, yelling, contradictions, denial, giant cans, and back-biting-- in other words, an hour of pure bliss. If only every show on TV was this entertaining. Saaphyri, the winner of the show, said that she invested her prize money into a company making Indian hair weaves. Comedy gold. The last five minutes of the show had more excitement than some shows have in 10 episodes. They brought out the lead heel, Larissa, who was sassy as ever and she confronted her former friend, the totally hot Shay. Then things happened so fast that I couldn't even keep up. I just remember key moments like when Mo'Nique rolled up on Larissa, the revelation that Larissa's Mom was an albino, and the word "sister" being exchanged approximately 271 times. Excellent. Please bring this show back for a second season.

Gratuitous Kristal Photo

WWE's Kristal Marshall in the world's cutest wrestling outfit.

Britney Apologizes

Pictured above is the opening (and only) page of Britney's official website. On occasion she makes nonsense posts on various topics. Yesterday she posted an apology to the photographers that she attacked with an umbrella during her Bald and Crazy phase. She blamed her behavior on preparing for a movie role (that she evenutally did not get). Yeah, like she really got another offer after Crossroads. Funniest of all, she spelled the word "role" as "roll". Twice. This is what happens when you don't have your PR doing all of your writing for you. (Note: the error has since been corrected).

Expecting

Congratulations to Christina Aquilera and Nicole Richie, who according to media reports are both pregnant. I have but three wishes:

1. That the babies are born healthy.

2. That the babies never discover something called "Google".

3. That the babies don't come out black. That's all we need is one more brother like Eddie Murphy having his check garnished.

Go Shawty, It's Your Birthday

Belated Happy Birthday to your girl Lindsay Lohan, who celebrated her 21st birthday earlier this week. Because she is still in rehab, she didn't have that lavish Las Vegas club party which was going to be sponsored by a vodka company. Instead she opted for this lowkey affair (above) at a beach house with some broad wearing a jocking "I Love Me Some Lohan" t-shirt. Quite a trade-off.

It's A Celebration, Bitches!

From Mimi and me, have a happy and safe Fourth of July!

Dreadful

Did you catch Paula Abul's reality show on Thursday? Neither did anyone else. According to online reports, the thing flopped wildly. I caught about the first ten minutes of the show before I had to throw in the towel. I have sat through such pure garbage as Real World Las Vegas Reunion and the last month of WWE Raw and this was beneath me. It was just totally boring. The show was so dull that it made her commentary on American Idol look thrilling. If Bravo was smart, they would just run all seven episodes in the middle of the night just to burn them off and fulfill the contract.

Trouble Already?

Aw, here we go. According to the UK's News of the World, there is trouble already brewing in the Spice Girls camp. Among other things, they said:

- POSH is sick of Geri grabbing the limelight;
- SCARY is winding up all the others up with her weird behaviour and lousy time-keeping;
- GINGER is trying to turn the reunion into a one-woman show;
- BABY is being accused by the others of not supporting them; and
- SPORTY wants to be by herself before interviews.

Ladies, listen up. There are only about six people, present company included, who even want to see this reunion. When you had solo careers, you all sold about 60 CDs combined. Don't go messing up this last chance with petty in-fighting. Now let's have a group hug and go get that money.

And The Winner Is...

Wow! The season finale of Charm School wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. Instead of the yelling, name-calling and backstabbing that we have come to know and love, we got tears, compasion, redemption, and forgiveness. In the end, Saaphyri (above, who once prayed to the Lord that she wouldn't have to beat someone's ass) had reformed the most and beat out Leilene The Stripper to win the $50,000. The show was a bit dissappointing without all of the cattiness, but rest assured, it will be back in full force for the reunion show next week, which I wouldn't miss for anything.

Throughout the show they kept previewing VH-1's upcoming shows including the new season of Hogan Knows Best, which will be built around the Hogan's fake divorce talk. Probably the wrong week to show clips of a big pumped up wrestler arguing with his wife. I hope this season will address daughter Brooke's obsession with trying to get the ridiculous look below over as some sort of fashion trend. This is like the the third time she has been photographed in this travesty. Wait, is that the Mom or the daughter?
I also saw the extended preview for Rock of Love, the latest Flavor of Love spin-off. Just phenominal. It would take an army to keep me away from watching this show. It looks like we are in for a season of skank-a-licious fun. Ten dollars says that the sassy black girl gets voted off first.