WrestleMania 24 Results

The Showcase of the Immortals: WrestleMania. The biggest day of the wrestling year. It lived up to the hype! Great show. The results included:

- JBL beat Finlay. The little guy returned!

- C.M. Punk won the Money in the Bank. Shelton Benjamin stole the show again this year. Jericho was solid. Matt Hardy made a surprise return and attacked MVP. Let's hope that Punk doesn't waste the title match on the ECW Title.

- Batista beat Umaga. I can't remember this match

- Kane beat Chavo for the ECW title in about ten seconds. Welcome back to the mid-card, Chavo. They missed ya!

- Flair wrestled his last match. Great, emotional match. HBK mouthed the words "I'm sorry, I love you" before superkicking Flair into retirement. See you on "Celebrity's Secret Talents", kid.

- Beth Pheonix and Melina beat Maria and Ashley. All of the Divas were at ringside. Snoop Dogg was the master of cermonies. He clotheslined Santino after the match. Snoop Dogg and Maria had a creepy kiss afterwards.

- Hazelwood's Own Randy Orton beat John Cena and Triple H. We did it Hazlewood, we did it!

- Floyd Mayweather beat The Big Show by KO in what was largely a comedy match. Floyd stole a gold chain and knocked out Show with it. Better than I thought it would be. Floyd should be whupped for his fur and leather shorts.

- In the main event, Undertaker beat Edge for the World Title and is now 16-0 at WrestleMania. Good match.

- Somewhere in here, Kim Kardashian appeared twice and was her usual stunning self. Bonus points.

(Photo from wwe.com)

The Greatest of All-Time

I started watching professional wrestling some time in the late 70's, beginning with the old Wrestling at the Chase show here in St. Louis. They showcased some of the greatest wrestlers from around the world including Dick the Bruiser, King Kong Brody, Ted DiBiase, Harley Race, and an up and comer by the name of Ric Flair. At the age of 10, I couldn't stand Flair because he was a pretty boy with blonde hair, he cheated and he acted like he was better than everyone else. Flair went on to become the World Champion in 1981 and he always ended up beating all of my favorites like the Von Erichs, Butch Reed, Dusty Rhodes, and Barry Windham. When I made out my little lists of "Most Hated Wrestler", Ric Flair was always on top.

That all changed in 1989. After beating one of my favorites, Ricky Steamboat, for the NWA title, the dastardly Terry Funk sneak attacked Flair and gave him a piledriver through a table. Flair was off TV for weeks and the announcers said that his career was over. Then a couple of months later, Flair returned and gave an emotional speech vowing revenge on Funk. It was on! From that day forward, Flair became my favorite wrestler.

So it was a with a tear in my eye that I watched Ric Flair's last match last night at WrestleMania 24. After a great 35 year career where he was the top performer in the industry for most of that time, he (and Shawn Michaels) pulled out one last great performance on the grandest stage of them all. Sure it was sad, but he went out the way he should; stealing the show and having the best match of the night. It shouldn't have ended any other way. Enjoy your retirement, champ.

(Photo from wwe.com)

The Biggest Day of the Year

It's WrestleMania Sunday! As I write this, we are about an hour and a half away. My first PPV event in HD! Last night's Hall of Fame broadcast with Ric Flair and The Rock was phenominal. More on that and tonight's show later. The show gets underway at 6PM CT. Out.

Hulk's New Woman?

Here's a picture of Hulk Hogan at the airport. No, that's not his daughter Brooke next to him-- that's allegedley his new woman. She looks too close to his daughter. Creepy!

(Photo from fadedyouthblog.com)

He's Back!

Tonight! The return of the icon, Sting, live on Spike TV, 8PM CT/9PM ET! (I am officially ten years old).

(Photo from tnawrestling.com)

American Idol Results Show

I may have set a personal record: this may be the earliest point in the season that I've threatened to stop watching this show. This week is exactly why I hate this show-- the wrong people going home, while people who did even worse get to advance to the next week. What producer made the decision to have Chekize sit out there for a whole hour knowing full well that he was going home? Why not have precious Jason sit out there for awhile? They should have a rule next season that if your husband has a giant tattoo covering his face, you get disqualified. I guess if Sheyesha wants to advance next week, she better sing "America The Beautiful". These people are about to kill my WrestleMania week buzz. I'm watching Bret Hart tapes next week. The only good thing about the show: at least Kimberley Locke looked hot.

Dancing With The Stars

The bad news: Penn was eliminated (along with Monica Seles). The good news: Kylie Minogue next week!

American Idol

It was "Songs From Your Birth Year" week on Idol, which yielded mixed results. What the hell was that "Up With People" song that David Archeletta did? I bet his scary stage dad picked that song. Syesha and Michael did well. I wanted to hate it, but David Cook's version of "Billie Jean" was really good. I'm starting to think that he might win it. If it came down to him and David at the end, I could see people voting for him over David's sappiness. This is beginning to sound like a broken record, but please, please send Kristy Lee Cook home this week. Her "God Bless The USA" reeked of desperation and pandering for votes from middle America. We'll see what happens tonight.

The Last Stand?

Was that Ric Flair's last TV match last night? If so, he went out on a great note, beating the WWE Champion in the middle of the ring with figure four leglock in his home territory (he never even beat anyone with that move in his heyday!). On a side note, it was kind of odd having the WWE Champion lose a match by submission the week before WrestleMania, but hey, it's Wrestling 2008 and all logic is out the window. The confrontation between Flair and Shawn Michaels was tremendous. Please let that match go on last at Mania. Anyway, even though this angle has been botched to high heaven, this was a good piece of work. Sunday should be phenominal.

Dancing With The Stars

It was a fun show. Standouts this week included Jason Taylor, Kristi Yamaguchi and Shannon Elizabeth. I'm picking Taylor as the winner this season. Bonus points because that would mean that we get to see more of Edyta this season. Adam Corolla and Penn were funny again this week and I would hate to see them go. Their only hope is that the foreign guy doesn't have a strong fan base and gets voted out tonight. Otherwise, one of them is gone tonight. I can't see Mario going and it would be a shame to see the happiest man on TV, Steve Guttenberg, sent home this early. On the women's side, it's probably Monica Seles who is leaving. The toughest part about tonight will be sitting through the Jonas Brothers and the other assorted crap.

Britney, Is That You?

I saw Britney's guest appearance on some show called "How I Met Your Mother" last night on CBS. She was actually really good in it. She played a ditzy, church-going but trampy receptionist. It was the role she was born to play. She was funny, had her timing down and looked pretty good. Only two months ago, who would have thought that this girl could memorize lines? Next thing you know, she will be putting out good songs, showing up for video shoots and being a good parent. Hopefully this is a start to a career comeback.

Mimi's New Single Is Available

Mariah's new single is out today on Itunes. Whatever happened to 45s and maxi-singles? I'm so old.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

This week's episode focused primarily on Bruce Jenner getting a fashion makeover and Khloe taking acting lessons. Very little Kim this week. Note to the producers: There is only one reason to watch this show-- and Kim Kardashian is sitting on it. More Kim, less everybody else. Let's step it up next week folks.

(Photo from eonline.com)

Rock of Love 2

This week the ex-boyfriends were brought in so that Bret could interrogate them and get some dirt on the girls. He also brought back Heather from last year (who should have won), who he said was one of his close friends now. Okay. This all broke down into a free-for-all of clothes coming off, drinking, crying, drama, and Daisy admiting that she still lived in the same apartment as her ex-boyfriend. In the end, Megan's sassy ass (above) was sent home. After she got her walking papers, she stood there for what seemed like hours just shaking her head "no". She was probably fretting about which low-brow reality show she could be on next. Oh well, maybe VH-1 can bring back Charm School. She would be perfect. Next week, more Heather and cattiness.

(Photo from vh1.com)

Dancing with the Stars: Night Two

Whoops, I forgot all about night two of Dancing with the Stars. It was the lady's night and I thought they all did well and were likeable. The standout seemed to be Kristi Yamaguchi, who received the highest scores from the judges. Coming in last was tennis star Monica Seles. The centerpiece of the show was deaf actress Marlee Matlin, who has to rely on the movements of her partner to know what to do since she can't hear. She did really well. Kind of tough to criticize her for not staying on beat when she can't hear the songs. I was listening to a local sports radio show on the way to work Friday and the hosts posed this question to the listeners: "Marlee Matlin: Would ya?" Which is funny because I had just posed the same question to my friend Upgrade the day before. Anyway, it should be a good season.

Mariah's New Album Cover

Here's a preview of Mimi's new album cover for E=MC2, which is due on April 15th. Kind of tame; I thought Madonna's cover was much better. Perhaps, Mimi should have added a title belt or something. Also, her media onslought continues as she will be on the cover of this weekend's Parade magazine (below), which I may actually read for the first time in ten years.

(Photos from mariahdaily.com)

American Idol: Beatles Week 2

As predicted, the second week of Beatles songs was overkill. Most performances were lackluster and forgettable. And in the end, it was the skunk haired rocker girl who was sent home. It was partially due to her singing (which was the same style each week) and partially due to her sassiness. Ladies, let that be a lesson to you-- nobody likes sass. I was kind of hoping that it would be the Scottish girl, whose tattoo-faced husband finally made an appearance in the audience. Must we see this clown each week now? With this week's cut, they are now down to the final ten, who will go on tour later this summer. One look at this group and it pretty much guaranteess the second year in a row that I won't be going to the show.

Flair To Be on Reality Show

With his in-ring wrestling career finally about to wind down, it looks like Ric Flair has another high profile project on the horizon. EW.com is reporting that Flair will be a part of a new CBS reality show called Secret Talent of the Stars, which is slated to begin Tuesday, April 8th. Each week the celebs will display their hidden talent and someone will be voted off. Other contestants include Sheila E., Mya, Joe Frazier, Roy Jones Jr., and Cindy Margolis. According to a post at prowrestling.net, Flair's secret talent is allegedly salsa dancing. This sounds fantastic. Plus if he does well, we are one step closer to my dream of him being on Dancing with the Stars. Whooooo!

Dancing With The Stars Season Premiere: Night One

Dancing with the Stars returned last night for a new season. If you like tall, awkward, funny guys, you will love this season. The guys went tonight, so we had Penn of Penn and Teller, Adam Corolla, Jason Taylor of the Miami Dolphins, R & B singer Mario, actor Steve Guttenberg and an unknown. Mario did the best. The only problem was that I kept cracking up during his performance because he reminded me of Danny Domino/"Disco Dynamite" from What's Happening. Taylor also did surprisingly well. As a bonus, he is paired up with my favorite pro dancer, Edyta. Tonight it's the lady's turn. It should be fun to see Priscilla Presley in HD.

Madonna's New Album Cover

Here is the album cover for Madonna's new CD "Hard Candy", scheduled to be released on April 29th. Is that the NWA Western States Heritage title around her waist?

Rock of Love

The reign of drama is over! The big news this week is that the lead heel Kristy Joe was finally sent packing this week. No more whining, crying, flip-flopping, hidden mystery husbands and hideous days without makeup. We'll miss her but I'm sure someone will step up to the challenge of the top villian spot. I think Megan could fill the spot well. Next week is the return of Heather from last year, which should be quite skank-a-licious.

(Photo from Vh1.com)

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

This week's episode mostly focused on the brother and his relationship with one of the Cheetah Girls (not the thick one from Dancing with the Stars). She went to India for three months and he got all whiny about it. The other part of the episode focused on the family's poor eating habits and how they needed to eat healthier. Oh no, Kim! If I can quote that great philosopher Sir Mix-A-Lot: "You can do sidebends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt". Somehow this all led to them raising chickens so they could have fresh eggs. Yeah, it was contrived as hell, but it was kind of funny when the chickens started shitting everywhere. Good, scripted fun for the whole family!

(Photo from E! Online)

Live From New York...It's Mimi!

Mariah Carey will be the musical guest on this weekend's Saturday Night Live, filling in for Janet Jackson, who has the flu. Now if they could just bring back Eddie Murphy and James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub, we would have something.

American Idol Results

That show was almost unbearable. Just a horrible hour of filler. Boring songs, boring Ford commercials, boring interviews. Another performance of that dreadful Kristy Lee Cook song. Sanjaya? Oh hells no. Nothing entertaining ever happened from taking questions from fans and this was no exception. And on top of all that, as if this week's Lennon/McCartney theme wasn't enough, now they're bringing it back next week. They probably paid so much for it that they had to get several weeks out of it to justify the cost. And in the end, Stripper Guy got sent packing. I had predicted that Kristy Lee was going home, but there's always next week. Brutal.

American Idol

The competition has begun. The final 12 took to the stage to start the real portion of this show. There was a new set this year and it looked impressive. In a mild shock, Paula was even coherent on this evening. This week, the contestants were handcuffed by the heavily hyped Lennon/McCartney songbook. Most faltered. In a surprise, I actually thought that Chikezie's quirkly performance was the best of the night. For the most part, the rest kind of faltered or were forgettable, including show favorite David Archeletta, who derailed by singing off-key and forgetting the words. It should be Kristy Lee Cook who is leaving this week, after doing a horrendous country song.

Brooke Speaks

Little Brooke is speaking out about the tramp that Daddy Hulk allegedly slept with. She had this to say about her former friend Christiane Plante (who wrote to Perez Hilton last week about the bad press that she was getting):

"I think she shoulda thought about what kinda press she was gonna get when she slept with her best friend's famous father."

Oh snap. She went on to say something about karma and that nothing could bring her family back together. I just have a feeling in the back of my mind that Vince McMahon is knee deep in this. In other Hogan news, the Wrestling Observer is reporting that a network is close to picking up "Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling", where Hogan will train some celebs to get in the ring. This sounds like a disaster. Maybe they can have Brooke and Christiane on to save this thing.

(Photo from exposay.com)

Windham and Rotunda Return!

On last night's WrestleMania Rewind edition of WWE Raw they brought back one of my favorite tag teams of all-time for an appearance, the U.S. Express- Barry Windham and Mike Rotunda (who both work behind the scenes these days). And because it's not 1985 they didn't look like the picture above but more grandfatherly, such as in the picture below:

Regardless, it was good to see them on TV again. Also, props to Jillian Hall for not tipping over with those ginormous boobs during the skit. It was a decent show, featuring a good John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels match, Big Show throwing Money Mayweather over the top rope (causing a devistating fake arm injury) and Chris Jericho beating Jeff Hardy for the I-C belt. As fate would have it, it was announced today that Hardy had violated the Wellness Policy for the second time. What a coincidence. See you in sixty days, kid. And probably in TNA by November.

Against All Odds Pay-Per-View Results

Total Nonstop Action Wrestling (TNA) held it's annual Against All Odds PPV last night and from all accounts, it was a good show. I was busy with the Kardashians so I missed it. The results are as follows:

- LAX beat The Rock and Rave Infection and The Motor City Machine Guns

- Jay Lethal beat Petey Williams

- Eric Young and Kaz beat Rellik and Black Reign when Eric showed up in a superhero costume and beat up the baddies.

- Awesome Kong beat ODB and Gail Kim

- Shark Boy and Curry Man beat Team 3-D. Afterwards, Brother Ray got into a skirmish with the clown that was kicked off of Survivor last week.

- Robert Roode beat Booker T, which led to Traci taking ten lashes from a belt and Sharmell returning to whip everyone in sight, which I wish I would have seen.

- Rhino beat James Storm in a lame Elevation X match. Please stop having these things before someone gets hurt.

- Christian Cage, Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe beat Kurt Angle, A.J. Styles and Tomko when Samoa Joe pinned Tomko. It must be Joe vs. Angle again next month.

They're Back!

America's favorite family of big bootied hoochies is back! Keeping Up With The Kardashians began season number two last night on the E! Network. The show focused on Kim, who said she was really happy with this time in her life, with her career going well and dating Reggie Bush of the Saints. I imagine that clown is pretty happy too. The show's contrived plot involved Kim getting a big head because of her success then realizing the error of her ways be the end of the half hour. It was good but I liked it better when Marcia went through the same thing on the Brady Bunch about thirty years ago. The other plot involved one of the sisters thinking that her boyfriend was cheating on her. At the end, all of the girls had a sit down dinner with him and she took him back. Then the largest sister confronted him alone and said that if he ever hurt her sister again, she would cut his balls off. At that point, I would have given a week's pay to see him slap the shit out of her and say "look you arrogant bitch-- the only reason anyone even remotely knows who you are is because 1) your sister has a big ass and 2) because there's nothing else good on in this time slot." But alas, no fairy tale ending this week. Still, I love this show.

Brooke Knows Best?

According to several outlets (and as was reported in the Wrestling Observer about two weeks ago) Hogan Knows Best will continue on VH-1 with one change-- the show will now focus on Brooke being on her own and trying to make it in the music industry. The name of the show might be changing to Brooke Knows Best. Good luck with carrying her own show. The show would have a better chance at success if they moved it to Cinemax at midnight, if she would be willing to take it off and if they moved in Shannon Tweed and Joan Severance as the wacky neighbors. In fact, that would actually be a damn good idea. In other reality/wrestling news, Chyna (fresh off of a stint on "Celebrity Rehab") allegedly has signed on to be part of a summer reality show on NBC called "Celebrity Circus", where celebs will train to be part of the circus. Seriously. And to think, this woman used to be the Intercontinental champion!

At Home With Mimi

Thanks to Architectural Digest, fans now get to take a look inside Mariah Carey's Manhattan triplex. Three floors and oddly enough, no wrestling posters. And just think: if you put together all of the money that I've spent on her CDs, DVDs, concert tickets, etc., I probably bought that ottoman on page 7!

American Idol: The Final 12-- Finally!

It seems like it took forever but we are finally down to the final 12 on Idol. It was a decent week with a bunch of elements including 80's songs, a male stripper scandal, an obscene You Tube video, a performance from last year's runner-up (confirming why he didn't win), and Paula in mid-season annoying form. In the end, the two guys who got cut were no surprise (Luke and Danny) but I was shocked to see Asia'H leave on the girls side. How many times do I have to tell these people to stay away from the Whitney Houston songs? Only good things can happen when you listen to me. I'm looking forward to the real show starting next week.

Flavor of Love

Another thrilling episode of Flavor of Love this week. This time the girls were split into two teams and had to do a roast of someone on the other team. Some of it was funny; some of it had the crickets working overtime. In the end, Shy won and had the "privilege" of going on a solo date with Flav. It was revealed in this episode that she had an unfortunate case of dragon breath (special note: gum--it's available at every Target store in the nation). After that, some other stuff happened, a quack doctor showed up, Flav took a bath with the appropriately named Thing 1 and 2, I threw up into a small sack, someone brought in pigs feet, the elimination ceremony took place, somebody left, and I moved on to Monday Night Raw. Next week, more manufactured drama!

My Worlds Are Colliding-- Again

It's always uncomfortable when my entertainment worlds cross over, but it looks like we are headed towards another collision. According to today's USA Today, the one and only Kim Kardashian is slated to appear at WrestleMania on March 30th as a "guest hostess". Lord knows what that will involve. Since this is the biggest wrestling event of the year, I think it presents a tremendous opportunity for Kim to branch out and... OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT EGG MCMUFFIN! Good grief!


(According to Blogger's calculations, this is my 400th post-- and apparently 375 of them were about Kim Kardashian's ass. Anyhow, congratulations to the entire staff of The Nation).

Rock Of Love

Another great episode. This time for some reason they decided to have the girls put on a "USO-type" show for military veterans. Nothing good could come from this. And it didn't. It led to some awful dancing, bad singing, and butchering of the national anthem. The highlight was two of the girls panicking and reverting back to their stripper roots during their routine and just taking it all off. The vets' eyes got wide like two fried eggs after seeing those gigantic asses on the stage. It was all so awkward. In the end, two girls who had done a hoola hoop routine won. I couldn't even believe this all happened. Then there was arguing and more Kristy Joe/"Is she here for me or for TV time?" drama. Somehow she was not cut again this week. The giant Inna was sent packing instead, mainly for arguing with an old USO lady. We can't have that. More importantly, my girl Ambre got the first pass at the elimination ceremony! Congrats! Next week-- mo' drama and ridiculousness!

Creepin'

The Hogan divorce situation took another turn last week when it was revealed that the the beloved former wrestling champion had an affair while he was married-- with a 33 year old friend of his daughter Brooke, no less. According to the National Enquirer, Christiane Plante told them:

"My relationship with Terry began at a time when Terry and Linda privately knew their marriage was ending. She had left him already, although no official papers had been filed. Terry is a good man, good father, and a good friend, and he and I grew close at a time when he was going through a very difficult period. It seemed right then, but I know it was wrong. Having felt the guilt and pain build up, I gave a note to Brooke apologizing for my actions. I will never be able to fully forgive myself for this. I have lost an amazing friend.”

Oh, you dirty dawg. There he goes, trying to keep up with Ric Flair again.