On the heels of Stefani Week, it's Tony Bennett's turn to help the kids. It's Swing Week. This should be disasterous. Things get rolling with Beatbox Guy. I can tell Tony hates him. BG did "Mack The Knife". I loathed it. What else is new? Next was Phil. He said Tony was his hero. He did a decent job on his song. Paula said he was like a young Frank Sinatra. What planet is this woman on? Randy and Simon critcized him for not connecting and he blamed it on the fact that he was thinking of his wife. Who is he, Doug Christie?
This was followed by Melinda. She blew it out of the arena with "I Got Rhythm". No gimmicks needed: no fake mohawks, no short skirts, no whiteboy rap-- just excellent singing. She looked the best she has all competition too. The judges loved it.
Timberlake tried to tackle a Duke Ellington song. It was better than I thought (yes, only the finest, most in-depth analysis here at Hollywood Nation). The judges kind of liked it. Simon said it was one of the better performances of the night. Faint praise because only three people went before him. Jordin was after that. She dwarfed poor Tony. I wonder if he tried to get those digits. Her song was decent. The judges approved.
After the break, it was Rock Girl. She did a song called "Smile" and it was good but forgettable. Paula said she was flawless. Break out the straightjacket. Simon said she was behind the other two girls, which Paula vigorously disagreed with. So was she saying that The Rock Girl was better than Melinda? Shut up, Paula.
Next up was the star, Sanjaya. His entire persona is like fingernails scratching down the chalkboard. He was in a white suit with slicked back hair. If you missed it, it will be repeated about 400 times this week. His vocals were weak as usual. I heard better singing during my high school production of "Bye Bye Birdie". * He danced out in the crowd. Then two of my least favorite things were combined: 1) Sanjaya and 2) Paula dancing. Paula and Randy said he was a great entertainer. Yeah, Tom Jones is about to be run out of business. It should be noted that none of the judges mentioned his singing. Hopefully this performance was bland enough that America will move on to the next trend, like swallowing goldfish or something so this will be this clown's last week.
This was followed by Haley and "Ain't Misbehaven". She had on a low cut, short dress. I'm as shocked as you are. This yamp knows that if she stays covered, she's gone. She wasn't quite ready for that song. Paula had the great insight that she looked good in green. Randy and Paula didn't talk about her singing. Simon said she had great legs but dissed her. I bet next time the girl will be in a halter top and booty shorts if she survives this week.
Then it was Lakisha to close out the show. She turned the joint out with "Stormy Weather". She looked great. It's a two person race again. I'm guessing Phil goes home, but it should be Sanjaya.
* You know damn well I did not actually attend my high school production of "Bye Bye Birdie". I'm too cool for that.
This was followed by Melinda. She blew it out of the arena with "I Got Rhythm". No gimmicks needed: no fake mohawks, no short skirts, no whiteboy rap-- just excellent singing. She looked the best she has all competition too. The judges loved it.
Timberlake tried to tackle a Duke Ellington song. It was better than I thought (yes, only the finest, most in-depth analysis here at Hollywood Nation). The judges kind of liked it. Simon said it was one of the better performances of the night. Faint praise because only three people went before him. Jordin was after that. She dwarfed poor Tony. I wonder if he tried to get those digits. Her song was decent. The judges approved.
After the break, it was Rock Girl. She did a song called "Smile" and it was good but forgettable. Paula said she was flawless. Break out the straightjacket. Simon said she was behind the other two girls, which Paula vigorously disagreed with. So was she saying that The Rock Girl was better than Melinda? Shut up, Paula.
Next up was the star, Sanjaya. His entire persona is like fingernails scratching down the chalkboard. He was in a white suit with slicked back hair. If you missed it, it will be repeated about 400 times this week. His vocals were weak as usual. I heard better singing during my high school production of "Bye Bye Birdie". * He danced out in the crowd. Then two of my least favorite things were combined: 1) Sanjaya and 2) Paula dancing. Paula and Randy said he was a great entertainer. Yeah, Tom Jones is about to be run out of business. It should be noted that none of the judges mentioned his singing. Hopefully this performance was bland enough that America will move on to the next trend, like swallowing goldfish or something so this will be this clown's last week.
This was followed by Haley and "Ain't Misbehaven". She had on a low cut, short dress. I'm as shocked as you are. This yamp knows that if she stays covered, she's gone. She wasn't quite ready for that song. Paula had the great insight that she looked good in green. Randy and Paula didn't talk about her singing. Simon said she had great legs but dissed her. I bet next time the girl will be in a halter top and booty shorts if she survives this week.
Then it was Lakisha to close out the show. She turned the joint out with "Stormy Weather". She looked great. It's a two person race again. I'm guessing Phil goes home, but it should be Sanjaya.
* You know damn well I did not actually attend my high school production of "Bye Bye Birdie". I'm too cool for that.
No comments:
Post a Comment