Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Random Thoughts During American Idol


It's Gwen Stefani and The People Who Influenced Her Week. Lakisha started things off. She did "Last Dance" by Donna Summer. It was good. I liked the outfit. The judges liked the performance. Good start. The guy with the wild hair was next. He really is starting to sound more and more like Christopher Cross with each passing week. He was off key on The Police's "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic". The judges let him have it. Gina came out for some song I didn't recognize. I thought it was awful. The judges loved it and said it was the best of the night. What do I know?

Next up was Sanjaya. Gwen pretty much buried him during the intro. What was that abomination on that idiot's head? He's making a mockery out of the thing now. He looked like the Red Rooster from 80's WWF Wrestling. He sang a No Doubt song and it was brutal. I think because he chose to present himself as a fool this week, he might finally get voted off. No one wants to support a dummy. I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!

To continue the pure shittiness (is that with two t's or one?), it was followed by Haley. I love how Gwen can see the trainwrecks coming and is distancing herself from them during the intros. Haley starts off sitting onstage, while wearing a short skirt. I'm just surprised that she even wore draws. She turned in a pitiful performance of Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors". It was awful, but compared to Sanjaya, this was Aretha Franklin.

After the break, it's Phil with "Every Breath You Take". It was okay. He's just here filling a roster spot. Gwen said that Melinda blew her away. I love Gwen Stefani. I'm going to take back what I said about that yodeling song she did last year. Melinda did "Heaven Knows" by Donna Summer. It was fun to see her on an uptempo song. She did well as usual and the judges loved it, except for the outfit.

Time for Beatbox Guy. He did a song by The Cure (or one of those groups that I hated in the 80's). It looks like Gwen talked him out of that beatbox foolishness for the evening. I wish she could be on every week. Paula said that BG was making the show hip and contemporary. Oh lord. That's like on The Surreal Life Fame Games this weekend when some old lady said that Vanilla Ice was "hip and now". Simon said he was the best guy in the competition, which is like saying some team is the best in the NIT tournament. Jordin faltered on No Doubt's "Hey Baby". It was brutal in parts. But she had on a kind of schoolgirl outfit. And now let's take a look at the Hollywood Leader Board: (gasp) it's Jordin at number one! Inexplicibly, the judges loved the song.

Timberlake's Little Brother finished the show. He butchered "Don't Speak". It was more like Don't Sing. What are the judges listening to tonight? They loved it.

Even the wrap-up at the end was awful. Tomorrow, it's Gwen and Akon. And hopefully the last of Rooster Boy.

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