American Idol: Omaha Tryouts

More auditions, this time from Omaha of all places. Paula wasn't there at the start of the show because she was drunk out of her mind, uh, I mean because "her plane was late". Yeah, that was it. Then we had our usual parade of goofs, a few borderline performers, a sob story with some girl who was apart from her father and an annoying girl who claimed to be a wrestler. The highlight of the night was Paula doing a hiccup and Simon calling her a "disgusting little pig". Well. Tonight, Miami.

Making of the Band 4

- MTV has done it again. These people are the masters at assembling a cast of thoroughly unlikeable people, putting them in one house and watching hijinx ensue. And theyve done it twice in the last week with Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Making of the Band 4, which debuted last night. The show was so irritating because you would have thought these people were actual stars with the way they were acting, especially Danity Kane. You could put a Danity Kane song in a police lineup and I couldn't identify it. Puff Daddy was his usual arrogant self. Whatever happened to Farnsworth? Is his career over? This season the groups will live in one house and record their albums at the same time. I fell asleep on the last fifteen minutes. I woke up to the new Ashlee Simpson video. Totally unrecognizable. Decent song.

Royal Rumble Results

The major story coming out of last night's WWE Royal Rumble show was the surprising return of John Cena. Due to an injury he wasn't expected to be back until March or April at the earliest but apparently he has recovered ahead of schedule-- or we all got swerved in the first place. Either way, he came in at #30 in the rumble match and went on to win the thing, spoiling my prediction of a victory by the Leprachaun.



Also on the show, Randy Orton beat Jeff Hardy, Edge beat Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho and JBL went to a DQ and Ric Flair beat MVP.

Rock of Love 2

Another great show. I was a little surprised that the lead heel, the hideous shemale with the fake French accent (above) was sent packing but just like Dr. Frankenstein they created a new heel. Now everyone hates Kristina Joe, who revealed that she is still married (and working on getting an annulment-- yeah right-- the girl is there for airtime and nothing else). She was also the victim of this year's best insult so far when one of the other girls requested that she warn them when she didn't have makeup on because she was so hideous. Ouch. And it was so true. Anyway, the other person ousted this week was the last of the token black girls, which I already predicted. They only make it to Week Three each season. At least the two older broads were saved again, so I was happy.

Notes From Last Night

Questions and comments from the shows that I watched last night:

- On Pros vs. Joes, was that intimidating guy who was taking down guys at will the same Kurt Angle (above) who plays a clueless, court jester on TNA Impact?

- American Idol: ENOUGH! No more sob stories and people in costumes. We can't get to Hollywood Week soon enough.

- The debut of Moment of Truth on Fox was decent. How shady was that second guy with the gambling problem and the hairpiece? He was like something out of an 80's sitcom.

- Road Rules/Real World Challenge was excellent. These people are being humiliated just by being on this show and they don't even know it. Isn't Beth like 40 years old now? Wasn't the Real World in black and white when she was on it? Time to get a real job. All of these people are so annoying but between Coral's rack and Robin's Barnum and Bailey circus boobs, chances are I'll be back for more.

American Idol: San Diego Tryouts

Last night it was Day Three of auditions on American Idol. This time it was from San Diego. And just like its football team on Sunday, the contestants were pretty lackluster. A couple of good singers, some decent sob stories, and some annoying people who wouldn't leave. The last lady was good but her husband had tattoos on his face, so she should be cut just for being seeing in public with him. Overall, it was pretty lame. But you know what wasn't lame?: Layla on last night's ECW show (on the clip below at the 3:10 mark). Check this out before they pull it. Ooooooooh child!

WWE In HD

WWE debuted in glorious HD last night during it's WWE Raw show on the USA Network. Since I watched the show on a black and white set with foil in the attenna back at the Hollywood Nation headquarters, it didn't make me a bit of difference. Very nice new set and entrances though! And Triple H dominated for once! What more could you ask for?

Rock of Love 2

Another great week of Rock of Love 2. This week the big competition was a "Peep Show" where the girls could display their talent for 30 seconds and if Bret liked it, he would put a coin in and raise the curtain again. Typical stripper stuff but it was fun. The French broad/shemale looks to be shaping up as the lead villian this year. I am still pulling for one of the old broad (above) who actually did well in the Peep Show challenge and won some alone time with Bret. I am still fascinated by the mystery of Bret's hair, which I am convinced this week is synthetic. Anyway, next week: the return of last year's last villain, Lacey!

Celebrity Apprentice

Celebrity Apprentice continues to be good this season. On last night's episode, the Kiss Demon joined up with the ladies and became the project manager. This week the teams were selling Kodak printers and ink and the most effective campaign would be the winner. The ladies still lost again though because the Demon had one vision of how the campaign should go and wouldn't listen to anyone else. In the boardroom, he brought back Omorosa and Softball Girl, much to Trump's dismay because neither of them had really done anything wrong. When faced with losing his lead bad guy or his lead hottie, Trump was forced to let the Demon go. Sad. Next week, Vince McMahon. This may kill the franchise.

American Idol: Day Two

Day Two of American Idol saw auditions from Dallas. No Star Wars people tonight. A few hotties, lots of goofballs, a fool in actual clown makeup, and lots of delusion. Worst of all was the goofy Asian guy at the end who was dressed in a white pimp outfit. My man, William Hung was about four years ago and IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN! These people need to understand that they aren't going to get a novelty record contract, just some humiliation on local news clips. Oh well, only one more month of this crap!

American Idol Season Premiere

I can't believe it's back already. It seems like just yesterday that we were having a party at work when Sanjaya got voted off and when I was boycotting the finale. Ahh, the memories. Well, American Idol is back. I have already resigned myself to the fact that someone goofy is going to win so now I can just sit back and enjoy this crap. The lengthy audition process has begun (the final 12 portion doesn't start until March 11). First up Illadephia. It was a good show. Randy didn't say too many "dawgs", Paula didn't get on my nerves and Simon's writers had some fresh jokes. Standouts from last night included:

- The Linebacker: I still don't know if that was a girl or a guy. I think the judges walked her out because they were scared of being tackled. Couldn't someone had smartened her up that she couldn't sing before she got dragged into this mess?

- The Crazy "Janis Joplin" Lady: This lady had borderline talent, got rejected, then went on a whiny tirade about what a jerk Simon was. The problem? Simon was nice to her! So she had to still go on with her pre-planned tirade anyway and made more of a fool of herself.

- The Girl with the Sick Child: She said that she didn't care about being a star, she just wanted to get enough money to take care of her child, who had some rare disease. Oh man, if she doesn't win....... wooooo, let me get it together.

- Log Cabin Girl: She lives in a log cabin! She loves horses! She's a cage fighter! She's marginally hot in Kellie Pickler sort of way! She's going to the final 12!

- The Guy Who Was Dressed As Princess Leia: Dude, is really that important to be on TV? Damn. At least make the stuff funny.

- The Guy Who Said "Delaware Tech, represent!"

- The Star Wars Girl at the End: Dear Lord, please help this woman. Again, how come someone didn't smarten this girl up that she couldn't sing before she came all the way to Philadelphia? At least now she will be a "star" in her little town for the next twenty years as "the girl who was on the same channel as Andy Griffith that time".

Tonight, more auditions!

It's A Boy!

Congratulations to Christina Aquilera, who gave birth to a baby boy over the weekend. Only five years until this kid types in Mommy's name and "assless chaps" into Google and gets quite a shock. Meanwhile, her former rival (who she has left in the dust) couldn't even be bothered to show up to her own children's custody hearing yesterday. F***ing pathetic. At least Christina can look at Britney for a textbook example of what not to do.

Rock of Love 2 Season Premiere!

The last season of Rock of Love set the bar so high for sleaze that the second season was bound to be a disappointment. But oh hells no! They came out of the box fierce! A bigger house! Bigger head scarves! Bigger implants! This show was so great. After blowing off last year's "winner" with a brief "it didn't work out" speech from Bret Michaels, it was on to twenty new skan... uh stripp... um, ladies. The casting department has come through again. Of the 20 women, I would guess that about 18 of them make their living in clear high heels. Two of them have fake European accents, a couple of them are "older" (meaning Bret's age) and a couple appear to be drag queens. Also, this season Bret seems to be morphing into Vince Neil from Motley Crue. Anyway, four of the girls got cut this week (including the token drunk and a girl who is learning the world through My Space- above). I was just happy that the two women in their forties made it, because they will make this show. It is going to be quite a season.

Celebrity Rehab

Oh, where do I start? VH-1 is back with a vengeance. Last night they debuted Celebrity Rehab. This might be the saddest reality show yet. Yes, even sadder than Joe Millionaire 2. They assembled a perfect cast of D-Level stars, including Jeff Conaway of Taxi and Grease, a girl from American Idol, Mary Carey of porn, a Baldwin brother, Bridgette Nielsen (who must have signed a 20-show contract with VH-1), a rock singer guy and a girl from Family Matters. And of course it couldn't be a low brow reality show without Chyna (above) coming on board. The show's premise is that this group of misfits tries to kick their addictions under the supervision of Dr. Drew from Loveline. Highlights of the show included:

- Chyna/Joanie was in such denial that she told Dr. Drew that she didn't really need rehab. He asked why she was there then (oh I don't know-- maybe to get some airtime at any cost?). She just giggled.

- The girl from Family Matters said that she smoked weed at least once an hour. Now her lungs are starting to give out. She said that when money problems popped up, she turned to porn. Welcome to VH-1.

- Jeff Conaway snorted cocaine and showed up so high that he barely had any motor skills. What's the under/over in Vegas for how long until he goes on a tirade about how he used to be in Grease and Taxi? Two episodes?

- Mary Carey showed up apparently drunk and brought porn DVDs with her. She offered to screw the rock star guy. Of the enter cast, she is the only one for who this show is actually a step up.

- Since the show was taped, the girl from American Idol has been thrown out of a bar and arrested, got knocked up (with speculation on who the father is), and had a sex tape released. Do you think the rehab took?

This show was absolutely phenominal. With Rock of Love coming back on Sunday and Flavor of Love 3 coming next month, with all apologies to I Love Lucy, Bob Hope and all of those bastards, we are now entering the Golden Age of Television.

New Champ!

A new TNA Knockouts Womens Champion was crowned last night as Awesome Kong finally put away the great Gail Kim in the main event of last night's Impact show on Spike TV. This is the best feud in the company and oddly enough there is no silly backstory involved or other foolishness like surprise fathers, barbed wire Christmas trees, or rats. Just good wrestling and a title as the centerpiece of the story. Amazing. Great performance by both ladies and it was good to see them in the main event spot (there is a clip below). Also, Jim Cornette was great in his role last night during a confrontation with Robert Roode.

New Ice Cube Video

This might be his best song in years. Check it out:

Please Let This Happen

According to perezhilton.com, Brooke Hogan and daddy Hulk are making the big push to producers to get Brooke on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Man, these people love the spotlight. It would be phenominal though-- for the two weeks that she lasted. Comedy gold. I guess since the singing career didn't work, why not try dancing. I still wish someone would have the good sense to cast Ric Flair on that show. Now that would be the ultimate. Please, I urge you; send letters, write your Congressmen!

The New American Gladiators

I talked to my pimp friend Upgrade on Sunday and he was thinking about watching the presidential debates. I can't fathom why, because on NBC they were showing people hitting each other with giant Q-tips! Yes, it was the return of American Gladiators which came back to the airwaves last night. Bigger Gladiators, more terrifying events and more HGH than the original! The biggest differences this time is that there is now a pit of water for the contestants to fall in, the Gladiators now wear black and white, and there are about, oh ,six million cuts during the events.

Hulk Hogan is one of the co-hosts and he was all hulky and brothery during the show and did pretty well. Muhammed Ali's daughter is the other co-host. She was wooden for the most part but looked good, which is important. Speaking of which, for the record, my favorite new Gladiator is Crush (above) a.k.a. Gina Carano, "the face of female MMA fighting". Maybe in an upcoming show they can have some of the old Gladiators square off against the new ones. Who wouldn't want to see Crush vs. Ice or Diamond? Yeah, probably no one. Anyway, the show was okay but they have got to stop all of those cuts. Just show the events as they played out. It was also a little too contrived and happy-ass. Throw on some B-level celebrity contestants and maybe we will have something.

TNA Final Resolution Results

Total Nonstop Action held its Final Resolution pay-per-view show last night, I show which due to the weeks of foolishness leading up to this show, I could not justify spending $30 to actually purchase. However the results are as follows:

- LAX beat Jimmy Rave and Lance Hoyt. After the match LAX's buddy finally unmasked to reveal to the shock of exactly no one that 1) it was a female and 2) it was Shelley Martinez, formerly "Ariel" (the sidekick of ECW's Kevin Thorn) in WWE. Then she did what was described as a stripper dance. Now I'm sorry that I missed this thing.

- Kaz beat Black Reign/Dustin Rhodes. Kaz stole Misty the Rat afterwards. Can't wait for the ensuing wacky skits.

- In the match that some reports said was the best of the night, Gail Kim (above) retained the TNA Women's title by beating Awesome Kong. This is the best feud going in TNA, mainly because it is focusing on the wrestling without a bunch of silliness. I was leaning towards buying the show for this match then I remembered the last few weeks of midgets, barbed wire Christmas trees, and turkey suits, then I thought better of it.

- Judas Mesias beat Abyss. Afterwards they poured "gasoline" on Abyss' head and threatened to light a match unless he told "The Secret". I wonder what TNA would be like if it were booked by sane people who wanted to make money?

- I am so humiliated at typing "TNA".

- Booker T and Sharmell beat Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks. Afterwards Ms. Brooks slapped Roode. Sharmell approached Roode from behind and he "accidentally" decked her. These people are in love with man on woman violence. I would love to see a psychological study of Vince Russo.

- Team 3-D and Johnny Devine beat Shelley, Sabin and Jay Lethal in an Ultimate X Match that was booked to be lame. They actually made an Ultimate X Match where most of the combatants couldn't climb. It's not like people are paying good money for this.

- Tomko and A.J. Styles beat Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash when Nash walked out on Joe. That should be a heck of a Joe vs. Nash match.

- In the main event, which was not focused around that pesky world title, Kurt Angle beat Christian after A.J. Styles chose to be Angle's boyfriend, or whatever nonsense was going on. Well, finally that's over.

- From most reports it was a good show; too bad no one saw it.

The First Britney Drama of the Year!

Desperate to get back in the news for 2008, Britney was rushed to the hospital last night after a custody dispute with Federline. The hospital gave her a psychological evaluation (!) and tested her for drugs and alcohol. I fully expect to be shocked at the results. I hope this is the end of her getting to share custody of the kids. After showing up two hours late yesterday for a court-ordered deposition, you would think this would do it. This story made news not because she's such a big star (she shitted her career away quite a bit ago) but because she is such a freak show that people want to see what happens next. But people are growing tired of it. Eventually, they'll show clips of her being rushed to the hospital or shaving her head right after the clip of the squirrel on waterskis on the local evening news. I fully expect this broad to appear in a wrestling ring in 2008.

Celebrity Apprentice

Just when the franchise looked dead, The Apprentice came back strong on Thursday by tweaking the concept; instead of having business people competing for a job, they brought in some celebs (including Gene Simmons of Kiss, boxer Lennox Lewis, UFC fighter Tito Ortiz, Marilu Henner, model Carol Alt, and a handful of people that I never heard of) to compete for money for their favorite charity. It made for a good show. The most annoying contestant was Apprentice alum Omorosa (with her last chance at any fame) who took every opportunity to play the bad guy and really just tried to hard. But hey, it's over for her. Anyway, it was a good show (involving which team could sell the most hot dogs) but they fell into a common reality show trap by cutting the hottest girl first (Playboy's Tiffany Fallon, above). Shame. You would think that Trump would know better. But if Tito Ortiz eventually puts a keylock on Omorosa, I will still declare this as the greatest TV show ever.

First Mariah Post of the Year!

Mimi hosting a party at Tao in Vegas on New Year's Eve (photo from Mariahdaily.com).

The First Post of the Year

On behalf of the possessed Sting doll, myself and the entire staff of Hollywood Nation, we wish everyone a Happy New Year. It is also the one year anniversary of Hollywood Nation so we want to take this time to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this site. We appreciate it! We are hoping for more great updates, madness and brushes with greatness in 2008.