Random Thoughts on the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards

- Has it really been 25 years since the first MTV Video Music Awards? Didn't Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscipo host the first one? I hope they bring Martha Quinn back tonight.

- The show started with a skit where one of the guys from the movie Superbad tried to kiss Britney Spears. Pretty lame. Britney then took the stage live to open the show. Unlike last year, she was in good shape and didn't seem under the influence. She almost looked like the old Britney (except for the double chin). Even though she didn't perform or really do anything, it was good to see her back.

- Rihanna was the first performer of the night. She had on an outfit that was reminiscent of Marilyn Manson circa1999. Of course, she rocked the house though. Good start.

- This year's show was hosted by Russell Brand, who is unknown in America but apparently is well-known in England. He did a monologue and had some pretty funny material. He got more blue as the night went on. He and Jordin Sparks (last year's American Idol winner) of all people, actually had an exchange at one point.

- Jamie Foxx presented the first award of the night for Best Female. Britney won. This was allegedly her first MTV Award. Do you mean "Hit Me Baby One More Time" never won a VMA? What about the time she came out with that snake? I need to check the record books.

- Demi Moore hit the stage. I don't think I've seen her since "Striptease". The Jonas Brothers performed on the studio backlot. At the same time over on the football game, one of the Colts was writhing around on the ground in pain, almost as if he was being forced to listen to this. Eventually a bunch of fans ran out (including some dudes, which was hilarous) and surrounded the Brothers. Nice visual.

- Katy Perry took us to break while singing Madonna's "Like A Virgin". She had on the smallest of shorts. Very hot. Why did they only show about thirty seconds of this?

- More Katy after the break, as she did a bit of "I Kissed A Girl". I'm starting to like this broad.

- Olympic hero Michael Phelps introduced a performance by Lil' Wayne. He ascended the staircase on the set and grabbed his dick approximately 136 times. I spent this whole segment hoping that someone would come out and pull up his pants. He was joined by Leona Lewis and the always annoying T-Pain. Dreadful. We only get 30 seconds of Katy Perry but we have to sit through the entire performance of these guys?

- Ciara and Lindsay Lohan presented an award. It was weird not seeing Lindsay next to that goofy looking DJ broad with the hat. The Pussycat Dolls won for the best dancing in a video.

- Who the hell is Paramour? They performed. I got something to eat.

- Pink is back. She performed a new song on the backlot. Good stuff. She was even nice enough to have part of her behind sticking out of her outfit. That's serious business.

- Jordin Sparks (who snapped at the host that not everyone wanted to be a slut, in reference to some of his earlier comments) and John Legend brought T.I. to the stage. He performed on a set and took some broad shopping, to a club and drove her around in a car. Really cool. This was well done. It led to Rihanna hitting the stage again in another nice little outfit and rocking the house yet again.

- The next performer was Christina Aguilera, who did a new version of "Genie In A Bottle" and a new song. The song was pretty good. Christina was dressed in a mask and sort of a Catwoman outfit. She looked scary. Good segment.

- Britney won the Best Pop award. I just realized that she hasn't been in the news for anything stupid for months. Could she be on the way back? Kid Rock with special guest Lil' Wayne (because who can't get enough of Lil' Wayne?) performed. I was starting to get tired. Britney won again for "Pieces of Me" (which I've never actually seen) and was whisked away in a golf cart with the host. The show closed with a grand production from Kanye West. It was a good song. He had on a glowing red heart on his suit, which distracted from the whole thing. Good show though. I'm just glad these things are only two hours now.