Torch Report/Words for Candice

Following in the footsteps of legendary wrestling journalists such as Bruce Mitchell, Mark Madden, and, uh, Carlie Gill, something that I wrote actually appeared in the Pro Wrestling Torch (well, at least on the website). I sent in my report of last night's WWE Supershow and it was actually posted on the site. I knew that having a minor in journalism would come in handy some day. This was my greatest journalistic achievement since I wrote a story about the Model Railroading Club in the Kirby Junior High Gazette.

In the report (as you can read below), I wrote about great highlights from the show like the verbal showdown between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho, Vickie Guerrero's heel heat, and Randy Orton's return to his hometown. Unfortunately, I also had to report about the negative: that being Candice Michelle's series of botched moves in the 6-Diva tag match. It dawned on me that such information appearing on a major wrestling website might 1) hurt her feelings and 2) severly damage my chances with her. So to rectify that, I am sending this personal message to Candice Michelle:

Candice, we all have bad days. Hell, if you look closely on this very site, you might even find lame jokes about Kim Kardashian. Some days, even I just don't have it. So don't feel bad. It took a lot of guts to get back on that top rope, so that's something you should be proud of. Plus, as a newly registered voter of one week, you probably had a lot on your mind. You still have your looks, an energetic theme song and tons of fans. And in the end, no one is probably going to even see those mistakes due to the editing wizards of the WWE. So next time you're in St. Louis, and you see some charming fat guy in a Rams jersey, don't take it out on him.

And in the interest of fairness, please enjoy the Candice Michelle related plugs listed below:

With your own Candice Michelle doll, you can make sure she gets all the moves right!
Want a copy of Candice's appearance in Playboy?
Be sure to visit the official website of Candice Michelle.
A pair of Candice Michelle's draws would make a great Labor Day gift for any of your loved ones!

(Photo can be purchased at allposters.com)