- I missed the top of the show while preparing my baked chicken. Gwen Stefani performed. Where's the black guy that says "Woooo Hoooo" on the chorus?
- Good to see that Kelly Clarkson and American Idol have patched up their differences. , are they expecting people to like, buy that song? Like on a CD? I would rather go out and buy "Since You Been Gone" again.
- Aw hell naw! Not the Big Bird Lady. That's it-- Blake is going to win. I can already see that this ain't black folk's night.
- Smokey Robinson totally overshadowed the male contestant's mediocre voices. I think he's had even more surgery since we last saw him. He has a permanent surprised look on his face; it's the same look that wrestlers have on WWE Smackdown everytime someone says "And your opponent tonight-- THE UNDERTAKER!".
-Blake didn't belong on the same stage with the World's Greatest Entertainer, Doug E. Fresh. I don't blame Doug E. for doing it though; if they had offered me 25 bucks, I would have showed up to be the hype man for Sanjaya. Anyway, they gave Blake just enough so he didn't stumble. Still he was fakin' and perpertratin'.
- Best segment so far is Gladys Knight kicking it with the girls. Why was Haley even there? I thought Melinda and Lakisha held their own with the legend.
- I hate the little fake awards segments but it was good to see the girl who jumped in the fountain and the guy who wore his pants up to his Adam's apple. Also nice to see that there is no more animosity between Simon and the Bush Baby. They had to cut his ass off though because you could tell that it started to get good to him.
- I liked Melinda's performance with BeBe and CeCe Winans. You could tell it was a really big moment for her. She shoulda won!!! I still think she will sell some records.
- Hmmmm, Jennifer Love Hewitt in a bra commercial-- it's like I'm actually running the network now.
- Is it just me or is Paula looking the old "Straight Up" Paula? The old "Vibeology" Paula. How can she look so different from last night? Maybe there are two Paulas. Drunken, accident prone Paula is tied up in a broom closet, meanwhile "Cold Hearted Snake" Paula is doing her thing at the judge's table.
- Carrie Underwood is still under the free pass that I gave her for showing up in Africa. Great performance!
- Please don't put the camera back on Smokey.
- After a mocking introduction, out came the man who almost single-handedly derailed the entire franchise, Sanjaya. Further confirmation that I was right about not getting tickets for this year's A.I. live concert. Sanjaya was backed by Joe Perry of Aerosmith and The Crying Girl. Doesn't she have school tomorrow? Surely she has a better use of her time than being humilated in front of a national TV audience and being a paid plant.
- Green Day was good. I'm pretty sure that guy dyes his hair.
- The Guy Who Won It Last Year came out and did a spirited performance of his new song. Not bad! He even brought out the harmonica. I had forgotten all about that. He was followed by Jordin and the damn near forgotten Ruben Studdard, who dueted on the Marvin Gaye/Tammy Terrell/Meth Tical/Mary J. classic "You're All I Need".
- After commercial, it's Bette Midler with "Wind Beneath My Wings", who was by herself for some reason. What did this have to do with the show? Isn't it time to announce the winner yet?
- Not quite. It's time for a tribute to Sgt. Peppers Lonely Heart's Club Band. (Why?) Joe Perry is back. So is Kelly Clarkson. And her ass. Followed by Taylor Hicks. And the Underwood Girl. And Ruben. And the rest of this season's contestants. And finally the last commercial.
- Finally after the longest commercial break in history, after all of the stupid audition shows, Hollywood Week, Antonella posing in a World War II fountain, Paula's rambling satellite interview, Sanjaya-mania, Jennifer Lopez Week, Idol Gives Back, the Simon/Ryan Homophobia, the elimination of the show's best singer ever, and tired beatboxing, we finally have a winner: somehow common sense prevailed and Jordin was declared the winner. Instead of letting her go hug her family and friends though, they made her sing that wretched contest-winning song again. Fitting. I might be back next season.
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