Please Let This Happen

According to perezhilton.com, Brooke Hogan and daddy Hulk are making the big push to producers to get Brooke on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Man, these people love the spotlight. It would be phenominal though-- for the two weeks that she lasted. Comedy gold. I guess since the singing career didn't work, why not try dancing. I still wish someone would have the good sense to cast Ric Flair on that show. Now that would be the ultimate. Please, I urge you; send letters, write your Congressmen!

The New American Gladiators

I talked to my pimp friend Upgrade on Sunday and he was thinking about watching the presidential debates. I can't fathom why, because on NBC they were showing people hitting each other with giant Q-tips! Yes, it was the return of American Gladiators which came back to the airwaves last night. Bigger Gladiators, more terrifying events and more HGH than the original! The biggest differences this time is that there is now a pit of water for the contestants to fall in, the Gladiators now wear black and white, and there are about, oh ,six million cuts during the events.

Hulk Hogan is one of the co-hosts and he was all hulky and brothery during the show and did pretty well. Muhammed Ali's daughter is the other co-host. She was wooden for the most part but looked good, which is important. Speaking of which, for the record, my favorite new Gladiator is Crush (above) a.k.a. Gina Carano, "the face of female MMA fighting". Maybe in an upcoming show they can have some of the old Gladiators square off against the new ones. Who wouldn't want to see Crush vs. Ice or Diamond? Yeah, probably no one. Anyway, the show was okay but they have got to stop all of those cuts. Just show the events as they played out. It was also a little too contrived and happy-ass. Throw on some B-level celebrity contestants and maybe we will have something.

TNA Final Resolution Results

Total Nonstop Action held its Final Resolution pay-per-view show last night, I show which due to the weeks of foolishness leading up to this show, I could not justify spending $30 to actually purchase. However the results are as follows:

- LAX beat Jimmy Rave and Lance Hoyt. After the match LAX's buddy finally unmasked to reveal to the shock of exactly no one that 1) it was a female and 2) it was Shelley Martinez, formerly "Ariel" (the sidekick of ECW's Kevin Thorn) in WWE. Then she did what was described as a stripper dance. Now I'm sorry that I missed this thing.

- Kaz beat Black Reign/Dustin Rhodes. Kaz stole Misty the Rat afterwards. Can't wait for the ensuing wacky skits.

- In the match that some reports said was the best of the night, Gail Kim (above) retained the TNA Women's title by beating Awesome Kong. This is the best feud going in TNA, mainly because it is focusing on the wrestling without a bunch of silliness. I was leaning towards buying the show for this match then I remembered the last few weeks of midgets, barbed wire Christmas trees, and turkey suits, then I thought better of it.

- Judas Mesias beat Abyss. Afterwards they poured "gasoline" on Abyss' head and threatened to light a match unless he told "The Secret". I wonder what TNA would be like if it were booked by sane people who wanted to make money?

- I am so humiliated at typing "TNA".

- Booker T and Sharmell beat Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks. Afterwards Ms. Brooks slapped Roode. Sharmell approached Roode from behind and he "accidentally" decked her. These people are in love with man on woman violence. I would love to see a psychological study of Vince Russo.

- Team 3-D and Johnny Devine beat Shelley, Sabin and Jay Lethal in an Ultimate X Match that was booked to be lame. They actually made an Ultimate X Match where most of the combatants couldn't climb. It's not like people are paying good money for this.

- Tomko and A.J. Styles beat Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash when Nash walked out on Joe. That should be a heck of a Joe vs. Nash match.

- In the main event, which was not focused around that pesky world title, Kurt Angle beat Christian after A.J. Styles chose to be Angle's boyfriend, or whatever nonsense was going on. Well, finally that's over.

- From most reports it was a good show; too bad no one saw it.

The First Britney Drama of the Year!

Desperate to get back in the news for 2008, Britney was rushed to the hospital last night after a custody dispute with Federline. The hospital gave her a psychological evaluation (!) and tested her for drugs and alcohol. I fully expect to be shocked at the results. I hope this is the end of her getting to share custody of the kids. After showing up two hours late yesterday for a court-ordered deposition, you would think this would do it. This story made news not because she's such a big star (she shitted her career away quite a bit ago) but because she is such a freak show that people want to see what happens next. But people are growing tired of it. Eventually, they'll show clips of her being rushed to the hospital or shaving her head right after the clip of the squirrel on waterskis on the local evening news. I fully expect this broad to appear in a wrestling ring in 2008.

Celebrity Apprentice

Just when the franchise looked dead, The Apprentice came back strong on Thursday by tweaking the concept; instead of having business people competing for a job, they brought in some celebs (including Gene Simmons of Kiss, boxer Lennox Lewis, UFC fighter Tito Ortiz, Marilu Henner, model Carol Alt, and a handful of people that I never heard of) to compete for money for their favorite charity. It made for a good show. The most annoying contestant was Apprentice alum Omorosa (with her last chance at any fame) who took every opportunity to play the bad guy and really just tried to hard. But hey, it's over for her. Anyway, it was a good show (involving which team could sell the most hot dogs) but they fell into a common reality show trap by cutting the hottest girl first (Playboy's Tiffany Fallon, above). Shame. You would think that Trump would know better. But if Tito Ortiz eventually puts a keylock on Omorosa, I will still declare this as the greatest TV show ever.

First Mariah Post of the Year!

Mimi hosting a party at Tao in Vegas on New Year's Eve (photo from Mariahdaily.com).

The First Post of the Year

On behalf of the possessed Sting doll, myself and the entire staff of Hollywood Nation, we wish everyone a Happy New Year. It is also the one year anniversary of Hollywood Nation so we want to take this time to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this site. We appreciate it! We are hoping for more great updates, madness and brushes with greatness in 2008.