My Thoughts on The Grammys

The Grammy Awards were held last night and it feels like the damn thing is still going on. They should take after MTV and cut this thing down to two hours. It was a decent show (heavy on retro, which was fine with me) but it started to drag. Highlights included:

- Alicia Keys got the show started on a good note, performing a "duet" with old footage of Frank Sinatra. She was looking pretty good. There was no host so she introduced the show and the next act, Carrie Underwood, who I sat up and took notice of for the first time. Of course, a giant wig and hooker boots will get my attention every time. I never thought I would ever say this about Carrie Underwood, but... not bad! Not bad!

- Prince made a surprise appearance in a little red suit. Isn't he tiny and precious? After he presented the award, I bet they just lifted him up and put him back in his little glass display case.

- Rihanna was out next and performed a remixed version of "Umbrella" with Morris Day and The Time. Even Jerome's old ass was there with the mirror. This was great. Rihanna even did the old dance moves with them from "Jungle Love". I was hoping that the show would stop here so they could go out on a high note.

- Kanye West did a great job with "Stronger" and a tribute song to his mother who passed away a couple of months ago. Later in the show, he won an award and in one of the most classless things I've ever seen on an award show, as he was talking about his mother during his speech they played the generic music to go to the next segment. No class. Someone needed to be punched for this.

- Beyonce looked tremendous and did a short medley of her hits before giving the stage to Tina Turner then teaming up with her for "Proud Mary". Tremendous. I'm sure Ike was somewhere looked up at them and smiling.

- Did I really see a country guy come out and do a song about "I'd Like To Check You For Ticks"? What's really going on?

- Rihanna won an award and dragged Jay-Z up to the stage for her acceptance speech. How much do you think Beyonce hates Rihanna? How many times have Jay-Z and Beyonce had the "Look-- if you wanna be with the bitch, you can be with the bitch!" fight?

- Amy Winehouse performed live via satellite from London. I still don't know what to think about this. She looked a mess. Some of it was good, some of it was creepy. At least the dancers had their moves down. She later won an award and was just out of it.

- The show ended with Herbie Hancock winning the best album award. He was complete surprised. I was just happy the thing was over. Decent for the first two hours then it fell off a cliff.

Rock of Love

I love this show. What a hot mess. On this week's edition, the house was abuzz because one of the blond skanks spent time overnight in Bret's room (in her words) "learning about each other". This riled up all of the other girls into a player hating and jealous frenzy. Then they were split into two teams for this week's challenge: trying to assemble a motorcycle and make it start. The winning team won a group date, while the leader went on a solo date. More importantly, the loser had to don a bikini and clean Bret's motorcycle with a tooth brush. If this show is about anything, it's about class. Then it became the Kristina Joe Show, as she whined for about a half hour and debated about whether or not she wanted to be there. What is with this woman's eyebrows? At the elimination ceremony, her "best friend" in the house (Generic Blond Girl #4) begged Bret to save Kristina instead of her. What GBG4 didn't realize, was that she was the one who had been picked to be eliminated. As Megan (this year's smart ass) said, it was humiliating to watch.

Tomorrow, the season premiere of Flavor of Love 3. Whoever decided to schedule this season against WWE Raw needs to be whupped in the middle of the town square.

The Divas on Project Runway

This was the first time that I have ever seen the show Project Runway (on the Bravo Network). Not the most masculine of shows. I've actually been to a Madonna concert and seen a guy wearing a white sailor suit in the audience; this show was just slightly less gay than that experience. But, I would sit through a Full House marathon if it had appearances from the WWE Divas.
The show centered around a challenge where the contestants had to design outfits for the Divas. Representing this great sport were Maria, Kristal Marshall, Torrie Wilson, Layla, Candice Michelle and Michelle McCool's booty. It was a decent show. Some of the designers fawned over the girls and enjoyed designing the outfits, while others were catty and questioned the Divas' taste in clothes. Candice and her designer pretty much hated each other, leading to a hilarious moment towards the end of the show where Candice buried her and basically threw her under the bus in front of the judges.

In the end, Maria's leopard outfit (second picture) won the challenge; the guy who designed Layla's outfit was sent packing. The big revelation: who knew Michelle McCool (above) had back?

American Idol: Atlanta Tryouts

Four main people stood out from last night's American Idol auditions in Atlanta:

- The bubbly pageant girl with the huge rack brought along perhaps the funniest moment of the auditions when she left and Simon remarked that she was probably the most annoying person that he had ever met. I hope she makes the final 12 for the entertainment value alone.

- Speaking of annoying, I couldn't stand the little bratty guy who tried to sing the rock song and wanted to match wits with Simon. He tried his little lame insults and Simon shut him right down. Son, you're dealing with a professional. Also, his parents looked like they were right out of King of the Hill. Somebody might want to check this clown's My Space page before he starts blowing up stuff.

- That was a rough sob story with the poor hottie whose father passed away two days earlier. I could see her going pretty far.

- The guy who lived in his car was a nice story. I didn't buy it, but it was a nice story. Plus, since he lived in his car, why did he drive off at the end? He could have just slept right there since he was already home!

Super Bowl Follow-Up

I haven't watched this much Sports Center and listened to so much talk radio since the Greatest Show on Turf Era. It is so good to see the Patriots finally get theirs. I have been hyped and listening to Tim Dog records all day. I think I may have enjoyed this more than when the Rams won the Super Bowl. This has consumed so much of my time that I forgot about a few tidbits, such as:

- Did you catch Paula Abdul's pre-game performance? I missed it too but I caught it online.



Since it was taped in advance last week, I didn't even see the point. It was obviously lip-synched, but other than that, it really wasn't that bad. And unlike Britney, she was representing with the dance steps. Unbelievably, the crazy bitch has still got it! It felt like '89 again.

- Jordin Sparks did a good job with the national anthem. It looks like she has lost some weight and she was looking pretty damn hawt. Yeah, I'm probably old enough to be her great-grandfather, but still....

- Tom Petty? Oh man, there's a time and a place for everything, but not the SuperBowl halftime show! That was soooo dry. What happened to the days of Aerosmith, Nelly and Britney in her prime all on the stage at the same time? Oh yeah, Janet's boob ruined everything. Can't wait to see next year's safe choice. Manilow? Streisand? Hulk Hogan's daughter?

- The commercials were pretty lame for the most part. Some companies wasted a lot of big money. I don't even remember a lot of them. I was so nervous that the Giants were going to blow the game that I could barely pay attention. I remember the Danika Patrick tease ad, but who is so horny and stupid that they would actually stop watching the Super Bowl to go to a website that Danika Patrick is obviously not going to get undressed at?

They Shocked The World!

A very special shout-out and "thank you" to the New York Football Giants for winning the Super Bowl and becoming the new NFL World Champions, thus sparing us all from another week and full off-season of "Brady is the Greatest of All-Time", "Billicheck is a Genius", and "Patriots Dynasty" stories!


And now if you will excuse me, I will partake another six hours of ESPN Sports Center.

Money Time

Last week, Forbes.com put out its list of the Top Earning Women in Music:

1. Madonna- $72 million

2. Barbra Streisand- $60 million

3. Celine Dion- $45 million

4. Shakira- $38 million

5. Beyonce- $27 million

6. Gwen Stefani- $26 million

7. Christina Aquilera- $20 million

8. Faith Hill- $19 million

9. Dixie Chicks- $18 million

10. Mariah Carey- $13 million

As you can see, Hollywood Nation's favorite lady, Mimi, was only at #10 with thirteen mill. So basically, she's damn near broke! How can I live off of that kind of money? Oh man, I'm going to have to start messing with Celine Dion. Madonna is so rich that she is probably just now getting into that Vogue and Evita era money. It's amazing how much potential money that Britney Spears has pissed away (she finished at #14 with a "paltry" $8 million). I hope all of the stupid decisions and bad parenting was worth it. Oh, and good luck in the hospital, kid.