The 2011 Royal Rumble

Congratulations to Alberto Del RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIO, the winner of the 2011 Royal Rumble. This was my first WWE PPV since March of last year and I thought it was pretty good. Dolph Ziggler (who desperately needs a name change) and Edge had a good match, Miz vs. Randy Orton was decent, the Divas match was okay and I really enjoyed the Rumble itself especially the John Morrison spot and Nexus just killing dudes. The returns of Booker T and Diesel had me out of my seat. The announcing was atrocious, but hey, you can't have everything. Good start on the road to WrestleMania.

(Photo from wwe.com)

American Idol: Night Three

It was another decent episode of American Idol, although these two hour episodes are starting to drag. Steven and Jennifer are becoming more solid as they settle into their roles. Randy is, as Andrew Dice Clay once said, as soft as shit on a hot summer night. If the votes is split and comes down to him, he always lets them through. I thought the White House intern was pretty good (Michelle better watch out for this broad). The funniest was the lady who was there to support her family member then got a leg cramp. The guy at the end had just about the saddest story I've ever seen. I wouldn't be surprised to see him make it. Meanwhile, more singing and William Hung wannabes later tonight.

Flavor Flav's Chicken

I have a perverse desire to go to Iowa now:

Kourtney and Kim Take New York

Unfortunately, not all of the news was good on E! last night. I suffered through forty minutes of the new show Kourtney and Kim Take New York, which is about two of the Kardashian sisters (the most bodacious one and the most annoying one) opening a store in New York. This episode centered around Kim trying the dating scene and Kourtney getting back together with her shithead of a boyfriend, Scott. This guy belongs on the next season of Tool Academy. For Pete's sake, at one point he even wore a sweater tied around his neck, pretty much the international sign of douchebaggery. In addition, Kourtney's voice was SO annoying, she probably had people reaching for the mute button all across the country. Those two are a match for each other. This show needs less talking and more ass. I don't know if I can stand another week of-- OMG look at Kim's ass in that picture above!

(Photo from eonline.com)

My New Favorite Show

I never watched The Girl's Next Door, Kendra or Holly's World prior to last night, but if they've been anything like last night's season premiere of Holly's World, I've been a complete idiot. This show was fantastic. If you haven't seen it, it's about former Playboy Playmate Holly Madison and her life in Las Vegas. There were two plot points in this episode. First of all, the producers of Holly's Vegas show said that she needed to lose weight. One of the producers said she needed to cut back on the chicken fingers and fries and start eating healthier things like celery sticks. If he had told her to start eating brown rice and vegetables (Showgirls reference) I would have howled. The second plot was the appearance of her arch enemy (a younger Playmate). Yes, she has an ARCH ENEMY! It's just like Batman and the Penquin-- if the Penquin was smoking hot. And this broad was a fantasic arch enemy. She ridiculed Holly about her age ("32 is like 60 in Vegas years") and then stole her gay friend away at Holly's birthday party. The show ended with Holly getting the news that her ex, Hugh Hefner, was engaged to some young golddigger. She was sad about it and they showed a montage of Holly and Hefner together, with her saying things like "I thought we were going to get married and settle down" over pictures of her looking about 20 and him looking about 105. It was absurd. Next week she is going to confront the new couple. I cannon wait.

(Photo from eonline.com)

American Idol Returns

It's back! After much hype surrounding the new judges, American Idol had its season premiere on Wednesday. And I was pleasantly surprised. Jennifer Lopez didn't come off nearly as annoying as I had predicted and even seemed a bit likeable. She was going nice on the contestants early but you can see she is going to crack inevitably. The sassy talking and head shaking is only a few episodes away. Steven Tyler was pretty good as well. Randy Jackson made the first fashion mistake of the season with that "Hit Me Baby One More Time" outfit. When was the last time you've seen a grown ass black man dressed as Britney Spears? I mean, besides one of her concerts. Ridiculous. My favorite contestant from night one was the nutty Puerto Rican girl. I thought she was going to go into William Hung territory but her voice was actually not bad. Did you see the rumpshaker on that girl though? I bet even Kim Kardashian was at home, did a spittake and said "DAMN, now THAT'S a big ass!" And it was. Night two was kind of boring but I expect things to pick up. This season could be better than I thought.

Macho Madness

Alright, this makes even me want to go out and get a video game system:

Happy MLK Day!

TNA Knockouts Interview

TNA Wrestling posted this "Pillow Talk" interview with So Cal Val and the vivacious Miss Tessmacher:




Kinda lame, but much better if you play the following underneath it:

No More ROH TV?

Sad news for fans of quality wrestling. HDNet announced yesterday that as of April, it would no longer be running Ring of Honor Wrestling, which is probably the best wrestling show on the air. I haven't been this mad about a cancellation since they took Good Times off after that episode where they finally got out of the ghetto.

This Just In...

The coaches have been named for the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter and it's UFC's biggest draw, former WWE/UFC champ Brock Lesnar, who will oppose Junior Dos Santos. The season starts March 30th. According to the Wrestling Observer website, UFC president Dana White took this time to announce that Lesnar would not be at WrestleMania. Poor Vince.

"I'm Walking"

I'm digging this new Mary Mary song "I'm Walking". I'm told this is gospel. Who knew?:

The Chaperone

I just saw the trailer for WWE's latest straight-to-DVD release The Chaperone, starring Triple H of Blade 3 fame (found here). Why don't they give up on this movie foolishness and just give that money to Kelly Kelly? You know things are bad when the best thing about a film is the lady who is the voice of Lisa Simpson (and played the little brat in the all-time classic The Legend of Billie Jean).

The Secret Life of Scientists & Engineers

I found a great feature on wrestler MsChif on the Nova website. (Yes, I was on the Nova website). You can find it by clicking here. It's good stuff!

Gaga Announcement

Happy 2011, everyone! Lady Gaga started the year by tweeting a picture of her ass and announcing that she will have a new album in May of this year. It's gonna be a good year. Speaking of music, a clip has leaked of Kim Kardashian's new song produced by the Dream. Um, yeah. She better stick to her day job: walking around with a big ass.