Highlights from Last Weekend

As you might surmise from previous posts, I went to a wrestling convention over the weekend, which was held in San Francisco. I was expecting such a fiasco of epic proportions that I barely even told anyone that I was going; and as far as organization, scheduling, stiffing talent on payment, etc. it lived down to the expectations. However, I got to meet most of the people that I came for so I actually had an enjoyable time. Below are some other highlights:

- I arrived at the Airport Sheraton in S.F. on Friday morning (very nice hotel by the way). I was a little early to check in so I called my sister to pass the time and to let her know that I had made it in. While we were chatting, she said "what's that?". I had to embarrassingly answer "oh, that's some guy doing a Hulk Hogan imitation", which was so loud and obnoxiously that it could clearly be heard in Chicago. Little did I know that this clown would go on to do the same "well ya know something, brother" imitation several times throughout the weekend.

- As I was in line checking in, I thought the young lady in front of me looked really familiar. Turns out that it was the actress who played "Penny/Hope" (Rena Riffel) from one of my all-time favorite movies, Showgirls. To normal people, this would be equal to being in line with Julia Roberts or Gwenyth Paltrow. This was beyond great. I got up the nerve to make small talk and brought up the commentary from the 10th anniversary edition of the movie (which I have on my shortlist of the funniest things in the last 20 years), which she said that she didn't mind since the commentator didn't really say anything bad about her. Apparently Elizabeth Berkley didn't care for it. I still can't believe that conversation even happened.

- While sitting in the hotel lobby on Friday afternoon, a vagrant stumbled in and the way he was trembling, I honestly thought that he had Parkinson's disease or something. He made his was way over to my direction, put his luggage down right next to me and left for about 20 minutes. The smell reminded me of my class field trip to the Budwiser brewery. It was indeed the Sandman.

- More hotel lobby hijinx: when the actor who played Apollo Creed's manager in the Rocky movies walked into the lobby, someone exclaimed "It's supposed to be an exhibition!", which was one of his lines from Rocky IV. I was almost on the floor. Also, there was a bowl of apples on the check-in desk. Ernest "The Cat" Miller took one and Rick Steiner remarked, almost puzzled (in a way that only Rick Steiner could say it) "I didn't know that black guys ate apples". You had to be there. I laughed about that for almost three days.

- The three scariest people at the convention? Easily, Scott Steiner, Brad Imes from Ultimate Fighter/UFC and Tonya Harding. Imes merely walked by and I almost pissed myself. You haven't lived until you've seen Tonya Harding walking through a lobby with a six-pack of beer.

- A wedding reception was also being held at the the hotel where the wrestlers and fans were staying. I think it was a Samoan family. They party like black folks-- you know they are in the building. A bunch of kids crowded Goldberg and he signed for all of them and took pictures. That lobby was just a freak show all weekend.

- I missed Don Frye getting knocked out-- twice, apparently.

Goldberg and his peeps.

- A Q & A session was held with Eric Bischoff, the former head of WCW and the man who once said that he would drive my favorite wrestler Ric Flair into bankruptcy. He called on me and I said "WCW put on a lot of entertaining PPV shows, particularly from 1995-1998, however (dramatic pause then laughter) what was the thought process behind NWO Souled Out (one of the worst shows of all-time). What made you think people would want to see that?" I got some applause and even he cracked up. He did the fake cough and said "cough-screw you-cough". He explained that it was his fault and they were just trying to do something different since there were so many PPVs. Basically, he got served.

- I also got to meet two of the Baywatch babes, Traci Bingham and Brande Roderick (both below). Traci was cool. I think she may have had some additional implants the size of basketballs since she was last on TV. I asked Brande about the Surreal Life and the episode that they built around the fact that she allegedly couldn't find a date, one of the most ridiculous ideas in reality TV history. She said that her current husband contacted her after seeing the show and that's how they initially met. I thought "hell, I could have done that." Indeed, I could not have. He must have been good looking and had a real job.

I can't believe she didn't ask for the digits.

I'm just glad that she finally found a date.