Happy 60th Birthday, KSDK!

(While I am away on business, my possessed Sting doll will take over. I have no idea what he will write about, however please know that his views in no way reflect myself or those of Hollywood Nation. Thanks.-- Hollywood)

Hello, everyone. The Sting doll here. It's Showtime. Here in St. Louis one station is known as the number one source for news. They are always first with breaking news and they provide information and accuracy that is unrivaled. But enough about Channel 2! Today I am here to wish KSDK-TV (Channel 5) a happy 60th birthday. Wow, sixty years ago. Bologna was a nickel, Abe Lincoln was just starting his first term in office, and Ed Sullivan introduced the Beatles to America. Now my time line might be a bit off, but I'm just a little puppet so cut me some slack. I have enjoyed the historical clips that I have seen recently on Channel 5. I even caught a bit of their 60th Anniversary show last night while I was waiting for Deal or No Deal. Why did that nice lady keep calling Miss Foss a "broad"? Miss Foss is not a broad. Jessica Simpson is a broad. Paris Hilton is a broad. And a bit of tramp as well, but that's neither here nor there. I would like to see some type of apology or an official retraction. Anyway, after seeing all of that footage, here is a list of my favorite moments from KSDK:

1. The infamous "Who in the hell left the gate open?" episode of Corky the Clown

2. The non-stop coverage of the time that the Pope came to town

3. The time they fired Hollywood

Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. This is the real reason for this post. How can they have an entire one hour special without at least a 20 minute tribute to the most charasmatic, showstopping icon to ever walk through the doors? When Hollywood started there, KSDK was just a low watt station getting beaten by reruns of Benson. Then he put the station on his broad shoulders and singlehandedly brought them to the promised land. And how much time did he get on the special? A goose egg, baby! Not a second! Nothing! Not even a five minute slow motion tribute video to "Hero" by Mariah Carey! How ungrateful! Well, that's it for me. That was the last straw. It's strictly Channel 4 from now on. Besdes, I kinda like that Vickie Newton. You know Sting has always had a thing for the chocolota! So anyway, happy birthday KSDK. Enjoy your cake. You've earned it. I'm out.