Random Thoughts on The Grammys

- I was installing computer equipment while the show was going on (what a joke that is), so if I missed something, blame it on that.

- Show started with the reunited Police singing Roxanne. I didn't really become a fan until right after they had broken up, so this was a treat. They came back in good form. Good start.

- First winners of the night were Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder for Best Collaboration. It was followed by the Dixie Chicks performance. Some guy in Georgia just threw his "Get R Done" hat on the ground in disgust.

- CBS's new boy Prince made a brief appearance to introduce Dreamgirls afterthought Beyonce. It was good. She's no Jennifer Hudson though.

- Mary J. Blige won for something or other, then proceeded to reel off the longest Thank You list in the history of awards shows. It was so long that even Quincy Jones was thinking "damn, is it necessary to name all of those people?" It was unreal. You would have thought this was her first time winning anything. Eventually the music played her off and rightfully so.

- Taped segment with Justin Timberlake talking about some song he wrote. Completely soft. I bet Austin could kick his ass with both of his arms tied behind his back and his legs bound. Then Timberlake came onstage with about 50 black people and did his song. I haven't seen that many black people on a stage since M.C. Hammer did "U Can't Touch This" at the SIU Arena in 1991.

- Pink and T.I. presented The Doors with an award. Jim Morrison was in Paris and could not attend.

- Performance with John Mayer, John Legend and Corinne Bailey Rae. This was a really good, of course. Mayer won an award afterwards. I wonder if Jessica Simpson is getting on his nerves yet? Poor guy. He seems like a nice guy too.

- Wyclef and Shakira came out for "Hips Don't Lie". See photo above.

- Song of the Year (and later Record of the Year) went to the Dixie Chicks. Some hick in Tennessee just threw his TV across the trailer. It was a black and white with foil on the antenna.

- Gnarls Barkley performed a slowed down version of "Crazy". Cee-Lo was wearing a pilot uniform. When brothers start breaking out the admiral and pilots outfits, this is usually a good indication that they have indeed snapped.

- My boy Common came out along with Kanye West and they made fun of West always whining. The Roots got robbed for Best Rap Album, which went to Ludacris. I can't even remember how to spell the word "ludacris" correctly anymore. Ludacris dissed Oprah. He'll pay. Oh, he's gonna pay!

- Mary J. comes out to perform, prefaced with more "I had problems but overcame them" for the umpteenth time. For the first time since 1993 she's getting on my nerves. It was a good performance, perhaps the best of the night, however I was too busy hating.

- Best Country Album-- Dixie Chicks. In the words of Scooby-Doo: "Ruh Ro!"

- Intermission a.k.a. Carrie Underwood segment.

- Our next presenters: Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci. I saw the trailer for their movie Black Snake Moan and I couldn't even believe someone gave it the green light. Jackson plays a southern guy who keeps Ricci chained up in his house. They won't be bringing this to St. Louis. This was followed by a three way performance with botox poster boy Smokey Robinson, Lionel "Nicole's Dad" Richie, and Chris Brown. Good segment. I liked the kids that were dancing in the Chris Brown segment.

- Christina Aguilera was next to perform James Brown's "It's A Man's World". She looked like a poodle. Why didn't they just roll out James Brown himself since he's still not buried! Just prop his hand up and let him give a wave to the crowd. Even without the Godfather's help, Christina turned it out. I'm so old that I can remember when there actually was a debate about how was better between Christina and Britney. How's that comeback coming along Britney? Get out of the bars, baby!

- Obit segment, ending with a James Brown tribute and one of his capes being placed over the microphone.

- Next was a performance with Earth Wind and Fire, Ludacris, and Mary J., who inexplicibly had Farrah hair now. This was weird but good. All is forgiven, Mary.

- Jennifer Hudson, who once placed 7th in a nationally televised weekly karoke contest behind such great singers as Jasmine Trias, introduced Justin Timberlake, who was back to perform another song, this time with the winner of a contest. It was down to three finalists. It didn't matter which one since they were all interchangeable and hot. The winner did well though.

- Chris Rock brought out the Red Hot Chili Peppers who put on a good show, but didn't quite live up to the voiceover guy, who promised a performance we would be talking about tomorrow. Unless you are really into confetti, I don't see why you would be talking about it the next day. It was still good though.

- Dixie Chicks capped it off with a win for Album of the Year. It should have gone to Christina, who wasn't even nominated.

- Good show, even though it was way too long at three and a half hours. Favorite moments: The Police reunion, Shakira's hips, Christina, the looks on the redneck's faces.