Back in the glory days of the NWA, The Great American Bash used to mean Nikita Koloff and Magnum T.A. in the best of seven series, Ric Flair defending the title for 30 days against 30 different opponents, the Rock and Roll Express and Midnight Express in a street fight, and half-filled outdoor stadiums. But now we have the sanitized WWE-version of the GAB. Not quite the same. Results from last night's pay-per-view show:
- In the opener, Hawkins and Ryder became the new WWE Smackdown tag champs by winning a four-way over former champs Miz and Morrison, Finlay and Hornswoggle and Biscuit & Gravy.
- Shelton Benjamin beat Matt Hardy for the U.S. title.
- Mark Henry beat Tommy Dreamer to retain the ECW title. Colin Delaney turned against Dreamer. That should make for an exciting little eight month feud on Tuesdays.
- Chris Jericho beat Shawn Michaels when the ref stopped it because HBK was taking too much punishment. Jericho later came out and declared that HBK's career was over due to a detached retina.
- Michelle McCool beat Natalya to become the new WWE Divas champion.
- C.M. Punk and Batista went to a no-contest when Kane interefered.
- JBL beat John Cena in a street fight match.
- Triple H beat Edge to retain the Smackdown world title. Vickie and The Hot Little Wedding Planner went at it near the end.
- The show sounded better on paper.
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