Back In The Hole Again

From tmz.com:

"Paris Hilton was just ordered back to jail in Lynwood to serve out the remainder of her sentence! She'll get credit for at least 5 days already served. Hilton left the courtroom in tears, screaming, "Mom, Mom, Mom." Hilton was also heard saying "It's not right." One witness described the scene as: Paris was "physically escorted" out of the courtroom by a female deputy."

Pathetic.

Paris Is Already Out!

I'm disappointed, but not entirely surprised. The L.A. County Sheriffs office's hands were tied; after all, the tramp wouldn't eat! What alternative did they have other than to take her out of jail and send the poor broad to a mansion with air conditioning, delivery service, a black butler, unlimited computer and TV access, a pool, and a tennis court? Did they even bother to think what precedent this would set? Nope, they just cared about the enormous under-the-table payoff that I'm quite certain had to occur. Oh well, we still have the fond memories of Sarah Silverman humiliating her on national TV.

Television's Finest Hour

Have I ever mentioned that Flavor of Love: Charm School is the best show on TV? Oh yeah, about 18 times. Last weekend's episode was no exception. This show was built around finding out who really stole The Stripper's picture. It begged the question "why not look at the tape?", but why let logic get in the way of a great plot? It was finally discovered that the lead bad guy, Larissa/Bootz (above) did it, so Bootz got the boot. Even though the main antagonist is gone, don't worry-- there is much more drama to come. Next week, they bring some guys over to the house and the girls have to find the one legit guy in the group. They had clips of "Pumkin" drinking out of a fountain, grinding on some fellow, and asking a guy if he preferred to "**** or make love", while someone commentated that she was a disgrace to her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. Yes, she is. By the way, I LOVE THIS SHOW.

I Hate To Say "I Told Ya So"...

To quote the great wrestler Arn Anderson: "I hate to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT!" I believe on these very pages I predicted that The Artist Known As Firecrotch was going to be doing some random crazy things shortly ala Britney's head shaving. Not that it took a genius to come to that conclusion. Above is a picture taken before Fire went into rehab last week. She is "playfully" holding a knife to the the throat of Entertainment Tonight's Vanessa Minnillo and damn near causing an unfortunate cigarette burn in the process. Sadly, we don't have a wide shot available to see the stream of piss forming on Vanessa's pants. Strangely, I don't remember ever playing around and holding knives to the throats of my own friends. Granted we don't usually sit around drinking whiskey straight out of the bottle either, so maybe that's it. Note to Lindsay's "friends"/freeloaders: keep the sharp objects away from this yamp! Thanks!

Daddy's Little Girl

Congratulations to Hulk Hogan, who last week was named as one of the Fathers of the Year by the National Father's Day Committee. He will recieve the award in New York tomorrow. And how did his daughter celebrate this prestigious award? By dressing up like a total tramp at a concert over the weekend, of course! What in the world? She's going to put this guy in the hospital by running around like this. I encourage everyone to keep not buying her CD; by December she will be doing shows at local casinos wearing nothing but lingerie like Prince's old group Vanity 6.


I added the photo below as revenge for Hulk not doing the job for Ric Flair at the Clash of the Champions in the Fall of 1994. Naw, I never forget, clown!

Britney Spears' Ass, 2002-2007

Compare the photo above (from a Rolling Stone cover a couple of years ago) to the pictures below (taken yesterday by x17online.com). Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Literally. This is like in Superman 2 when Superman lost all of his powers and was just like everyone else. Sad. I'm going to go weep now. I think my boy Upgrade is wearing a black veil today. Also, what's up with this broad's ratty weave? Let's all put together and get her a gift certificate to King's Beauty Supply.

Yo, I Tell Ya What I Want, What I Really, Really Want

According to Perezhilton.com, Scary Spice's publicist told a newspaper that Scary would be participating in the next season of Dancing With The Stars. FANTASTIC! I just hope it's true. I can't wait to see her out there dancing in the giant high heels as Baby, Posh, Ginger, Sporty, and Norbit cheer her on from the audience. This is going to be the best season since they had that wrestling broad on!