My New Favorite Show

Move over Flavor of Love and Ultimate Fighter-- there's a new show in town. I've only seen two episodes but I am already crowning E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians as my favorite show. In fact, they need to make an entire Kardashians Network. The show centers around Kim Kardashian and her 8 or 9 sisters (all of their names start with a "K"), her mother (who is also her manager) and her step-father, former Olympian and bad plastic surgery pioneer Bruce Jenner. I still don't know what Kim does for a living; maybe they will reveal that in the season finale.

The first episode centered around Kim's visit to the Tyra Banks Show. She was worried about being asked about her celebrity sex tape. She was uncomfortable about it and really didn't want to discuss it. Well, what the hell else could they talk about? Unless the show is about big asses, there isn't really much left to discuss. Of course, Tyra brought it up and she was pissed. Kim also bought a stripper pole for her mother, which the youngest daughter wasted no time hoping on and getting her freak on. The torch has been passed.

In episode two, the wife decided to get a baby sitter to look after the kids so that Bruce could have some free time. The baby sitter turned out to be a young skeezer who walked around in a bikini all day, prompting the most smartass of the daughters to call the mother and tell her to get home because there was a whore watching her children. Kim also almost fired her Mom from being her manager because the mother didn't devote enough time to her. Girl, I have a full-time job, run an internationally read blog, and support two wrestling companies and I could still manage her career. The highlight of the show was one of the sisters calling Kim "a big booty ho". I love this show.

The Greatest TV Show EVER!

I had to catch the morning version of the show because there was no way that I could wait all the way until the evening showing. This show is like a precious jewel. Each episode is like a solid gold bar. Clearly (at least to me) it is the greatest show ever to grace a television set. If there was any thought that the show was going to suffer once the lead heel Larissa was gone, those fears were erased in the first five minutes. There was still nothing but drama. I can kind of see a pattern with the show; when the episode is centered around one of the skanks, er, hoochies, uh, women, it seems that they are going home that very episode. Today was no different. In this edition, the girls were taught about the different types of men that are out there (players, convicts, career men, etc.) and then had a "prom" to try to find the one good man. Whichever girl picked the good man at the end of the competition won an exemption for the week.

This is when the show got great. Your girl Brooke/Pumkin (above), who had been doing so well all season, just went apeshit when faced with the grape. The girl got a little liquor in her and just LOST it. When she was talking with the massage guy, he told her that he massaged necks, backs, feet, toes, etc. and then she piped in with "vaginas?". I about died on the basement floor. You're not going to see this kind of stuff on CSI. She was totally sprung on the convict guy. She got freaked down on the dance floor. She asked one guy "do you **** or make love?" She drank out of an ice sculpture in the most lewd way possible. It was all so great. This show is like a giant televised diamond. Then when the convict (he served an 8 year bid!) was talking about Brooke's boobs, saying they were a handful and he didn't like them bigger because then they would have stretch marks, Saaphyri just went ballistic! She jumped all over that brother. They were trading insults and he even went back into the Sanford and Son archives and said that she should stick her face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies. It was great. Afterwards, the girls had to find the one "good" guy and of course they all failed miserably, meaning everyone was on the block this week. When it was all said and done, one of the judges inadvertently called Brooke "a pig" and Mo'nique called her a "slut" and "The Whore of Charm School". She was cut. Then came the waterworks and even I felt bad for her (of course, I'm a "Pushover"). Then she flashed her boobs. I can't remember, did I mention anything about Charm School being the greatest show ever created?

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And if anyone thinks anything about the show is on the level, below is a picture of "rivals" New York and Pumkin. Oh yeah, they really hate each other!