The Grammys

Nothing else was on, so I decided to catch the 192nd annual Grammys show. It started off hot but lost steam somewhere in the last hour or so. These shows need to take a cue from the MTV Awards and trim them down to two hours. Anyway, the highlights:

- Loved the tribute to Aretha Franklin. Christina Aquilera redeemed herself from last week's overblown anthem fiasco (although she did fall towards the end), David Otunga's wife was excellent and Yolanda Adams topped them all. Fantastic start to the show.

- I could have really gone without seeing Ricky Martin in tight ass football pants.

- Lady Gaga. Where do we start? The pointy shoulders? Were those horns coming out of her head? I mean, damn, this broad came out of an egg! I exchanged texts with world-reknowned music critic Jeffrey Watkins throughout this. He called her Madonna 2011. I said within five years she will be speaking with an English accent. This was the first time I heard the new song and it was fun. It may grow on me more.

- Speaking of Gaga, I caught her segment on 60 Minutes just before the Grammys. Not many shocking revelations, although she did admit to smoking pot and drinking whiskey during the creative process. I guess that explains the "Telefone" video. I also liked when she showed up for the interview with her ass out. You never saw that back in the days when Mike Wallace would interview Gerald Ford. And for good reason. Still cracks me up that her real name is Stefani.

- Usher and his son Justin Beiber was fine for what it was. For some reason, I thought I would be more annoyed with Beiber than I am right now.

- Stefani won an award! I can't believe those clowns played the "wrap it up" music during Gaga's speech! Hell no! You save that for Muse or Sugarland.

- I still don't know why the Muppets were out there with Cee-Lo. I was uncomfortable with Gwyneth Paltrow saying "ass" in front of the Muppets.

- I liked the Rihanna/Eminem/Dr. Dre segment. It may have been my favorite of the night.

- Can someone explain how in the world Justin Beiber qualified for best new artist? I know he's been grating on my nerves for at least TWO years by now.

- More Rihanna, which is just fine by me.

- What was that segment with Jennifer Lopez and her man? He looked like, well, like someone who had to sit and listen to her drone on for five years. Can you even imagine the amount of pure bullshit this man has had to hear over the last few years? It's unfathomable.

- If they re-do Three's Company as a new TV show or movie, who else could they possibly get to play Mr. Furley than Mick Jagger? It's so perfect. As soon as they put that show on the air, he'll be on there collecting rent every week! Make this happen.

- Who in the hell is Arcade Fire? Should I know them? Maybe I should get out more.