Last night one of my favorite celebrities graced my very own hometown and I didn't even know about it until it was too late. I'm slippin'. Kim Kardashian hosted a party at the new club called Home in the Ameristar Casino in St. Charles, which is about twenty minutes from my house. What a missed opportunity. Too bad it didn't happen, but I imagine the conversation between us would have gone something like this:Hollywood: "What do you say we go to mi casa and do the loco thing?"
Kim K: (Stops in her tracks, pauses, does a 180 and walks back intrigued)
H: "Yo, can I knock the stuffin' off that Egg McMuffin? You got a phone number?"
Alright, alright, that obviously was a scene out of the movie Boyz N The Hood. But seriously, when hasn't the line "Can I knock the stuffin' off that Egg McMuffin?" not worked? I can't count the times that it's worked for me. Anyway, here's how the conversation really would have gone:
VIP Guy: "Mr. Hollywood, thanks for coming. Please let me introduce you to our host for the evening, the star of E!'s Keeping Up With The Kardashians-- Miss Kim Kardashian!"
Hollywood: "Nice to finally meet you!"
Kim K: : "Nice to meet you! I read Hollywood Nation every day! That was so nice of you to put me on your Top Ten Hottest Women In The World List!"
H: "Aw, you deserved it."
KK: "And I thought it was so sweet when you described my ass as being like two giant Christmas hams trapped in a tight dress. You have such a way with words!"
H (looking down nervously, giggling): "Yeah, uh, well, I do have a minor in journalism... uh, can I knock the stuffin' off that Egg McMuffin? SHIT!"
Well, on second thought, maybe I was better off staying home.
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