Lady Gaga in St. Louis

Mariah Carey has her Lambs, Jimmy Buffet has his Parrotheads, Chris Jericho has the Jericholics, Shannon Moore has the Moorons and Lady Gaga has the Little Monsters. On Saturday night, about 20,000 or so of the Little Monsters converged on the Scottrade Center in St. Louis. Here is my report:

I got downtown around 7ish and searched for a parking spot. On the way in, all you saw was a constant stream of scantily clad women all headed to the arena, so it wasn't so bad being stuck in traffic for once. This also created such unique dilemmas as, "Do I concentrate on backing into this parking space OR do I concentrate on the woman with the World's Shortest Skirt?" Decisions. After I gawked then parked, I headed to the arena. It was a freakshow outside. It was reported that there was a protest outside but I didn't see it. I did see just about everything else under the sun though: Women wrapped in police tape, broads with their hair wrapped around soda cans, grown men in leopard pants, Gaga lookalikes, women wearing just balloons, a man in a flesh colored body stocking (he should have been protested), strippers, and even one guy in a dope Guns N Roses t-shirt (me). It was a circus.

After the opening act of Semi-Precious Weapons, the main event started about 8:45. Here are some notable moments not necessarily in this order (I'm old and forgetful):

- The show started with an awesome video on the giant video screen/curtain. The curtain opened to show a New York City street scene, including a big green car in the middle of the stage (which was later used as a piano). Lady Gaga evenutally emerged down the staircase (I believe the first song was "Just Dance") wearing a leotard with most of her ass out. The capacity crowd was on its feet and stayed there for most of the two hour show. It was during this portion of the show that you couldn't help but notice something. Yeah, it was pretty prominent. And I mean that in the most complimentary sense. I can't believe this wasn't the talk of the show. I know it was for me.

- There were several costume changes including the forementioned leotard, a nun outfit, a giant red cape that would have made Gene Simmons proud and an outfit that shot out sparks from strategic areas.

- During one part of the show, she kept asking the crowd "Do you think I'm sexy?" to which the crowd roared "yes!" each time. She then announced that she abuses this part of the show because she was a nerd in high school. This is the kind of stuff I would pull too.

- I believe this is the first production I have been to of any kind where the performer managed to fit in the phrases "Get your dicks out!" AND "Jesus loves everybody!"

- My favorite part of the show was when Gaga played her new and soon-to-be smash hit "You and I":



Uh, not that one, this one:



The fact that she did the song in a bikini and boots while playing a piano that was on fire only enhanced it.

- Text from Jeffrey Watkins during the show: "She's no dancer, but she tries." Pretty damn accurate.

- She did a gimmick during the show where uses her cell phone to call a Little Monster in the audience. The lady was overcome with joy and they had small talk across the arena. Gaga then received another call-- it was "Beyonce" (yeah, right), which led to their duet "Telephone".

- After an extended bit with her band and dancers, plus an appearance by a giant monster, she took the show home with a hyped performance of "Bad Romance". Overall, a great show with excellent visuals, costumes, dancing and singing. The crowd absolutely ate it up. One of the best shows that I've been to. (Although my favorite Gaga moment wasn't included-- check the 2:30 mark):

Madonna: The Sticky and Sweet Tour

There's only one word to describe Madonna's live show at the United Center on Sunday.

Amazing.

Say what you will about Madonna's personal life (no sugar or TV in the house!) but the woman knows how to put on a stage show. I was lucky enough to be in attendance for Sunday's leg of the Sticky and Sweet Tour in Chicago. It was a sold-out show and she did not disappoint. I spent part of the night wondering not only how they came up with the concepts but how they pulled them off. She had a nice mix of songs from the latest CD, Hard Candy, and updated mixes of classic Madonna songs. There was a lot happening on the video screens, including appearances by Pharrell, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Kanye West. She also played the guitar a lot and is actually quite good. Her singing voice was okay but you could tell that she was clearly lip-synching on some parts (not that anyone cared). The highlight to me was the dancing. She can really go and it was made more impressive when you realize that she is 50. There was some elaborate choerography and she kept the pace with her dancers, including one part where she was jumping rope Double Dutch style and did dance moves while doing it. Other props included a big white car, a mariachi band and a boxing ring. One great segment was when she faced off with four of her backup dancers who were dressed as Material Girl Madonna (in the Marilyn Monroe pink dress), Like a Virgin Madonna (in the wedding dress), Open Your Heart Madonna (in the exotic dancer outfit) and Borderline Madonna during the song "She's Not Me". It was great. Overall, I give the show ten thumbs up. Don't miss this if it comes to your town.

Here's the set list:

Candy Shop
Beat Goes On
Human Nature
Vogue
Into the Groove
Heartbeat
Borderline
She's Not Me
Music
Devil Wouldn't
Recognize You
Spanish Lesson
Miles Away
La Isla Bonita
You Must Love Me
4 Minutes
Like A Prayer
Ray of Light
Hung Up
Give It 2 Me