New Britney

Here's the new Britney Spears video for her latest song "3". I approve:

"Gimme More" Music Video

It's Britney, bitch.

On the heels of her VMA disaster and court drama, Britney's latest music video (for the song "Gimme More") came out this week. I finally saw it this morning. As of this writing, I haven't eaten and I'm crabby so my view might be a little slanted. The plot of the video is that Britney goes into a low rent strip club, looks at the girl on stage and it's-- Elizabeth Berkley from Showgirls! No, actually it's Britney onstage. See it's a double role! Clever. And apparently this is a club where the girls dance to dumb Britney Spears songs and don't take their clothes off. I don't know how this club is turning a profit. And really, that's the whole video. At the end, Customer Britney giggles. This ain't exactly "November Rain". But I do recommend seeing it at least once.

The Day After

Wow! Did people hate that Britney performance or what? There hasn't been a thorough beating like this since Bret Hart beat up Vince McMahon in 1997. I think the kindest review that I heard all day was from this very blog and if I recall, I said her and her performance were "half-assed", "cliche" and "desperate". I've heard all kinds of rumors and excuses such as she was distracted by what Sarah Silverman was going to say about her kids to she fired her hair stylist right before going onstage to MTV scrapped her original performance of doing magic with Criss Angel due to insurance reasons. None of it even matters. She could have avoided all of this by one thing: practice. Instead she was going to nightspots each night of the week before her big performance. As if things weren't bad enough, pictures of her were taken last night getting out of a limo and wouldn't you know it-- she wasn't wearing underwear. Again. What a night. Britney, here is a checklist of advice. Print this out and put it on your mirror so you can see it every day:

1. Practice

2. Put down that drink

3. Fire your management and hire Dick Vermeil as your new coach

4. Put on some draws

5. TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAMN KIDS

More Britney

(More thoughts on Britney's performance at the VMAs after watching it about five more times):

I wouldn't say she was a hot mess-- more like a warm mess, I suppose. A bra, booty shorts and hooker boots: it was cliche and reeked of desperation. It was like I was her stylist-- and that is not a good thing. While the performance wasn't good and even though she constantly looked like she was trying to remember her next dance move, it was not the worst thing that I've ever seen. Plus I liked the song. Now if she can just start taking care of her kids and not shaving all of her hair off, she might be on the road back.