Going To The Chapel

In happier wedding news (and happier WWE news for once), there is going to be a wedding. It has been announced that the (fake) wedding of Smackdown GM Teddy Long and backstage interviewer Kristal Marshall will happen on the 9/21/07 season premiere of WWE Friday Night Smackdown. It's good for the fans because these weddings are usually pretty entertaining (even though most times no one actually gets married) and they benefit WWE by drawing good ratings. Past weddings have included:

• The Hillbilly Wedding (Uncle Elmer got married to some lady on Saturday Night's Main Event; Roddy Piper and Jesse "The Body" Ventura interrupted the ceremony; Elmer, Hillbilly Jim and Cousin Junior didn't get their hands on the bad guys but did stomp on Cowboy Bob Orton's hat)

• "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Elizabeth (the televised ceremony went off without a hitch; the next week on TV we found out that Jake "The Snake" Roberts tried to attack the bride and groom with a snake at the reception)

• Test and Stephanie McMahon (creepy moment as Vince leered at his daughter's fake boobs; Triple H stopped the ceremony to announce that he and Stephanie were already married)

• Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson's Dad (they got married in their underwear; the groom "died" on their wedding night; Dawn broke a lamp over her step-daughter Torrie Wilson's head at the subsequent wake)

• Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo (the infamous gay wedding; ended with the preacher taking off his mask to reveal Eric Bischoff, leading to 3 Minute Warning attacking the grooms and Stephanie McMahon)

• Kane and Lita (Lita and Trish Stratus had a brawl; the vows included Lita saying that she hoped Kane got hit by a car; Matt Hardy tried to save Lita but they were stopped by a wall of fire)

As you can see, they have some big shoes to follow. My money is on Kristal leaving Teddy at the altar and moving on to some new guy.

NOOOOOOO!

"(Brothers) never listen/they gotta learn they lesson/the hard way, I'm guessing"-- The Pharcyde from the song "Y?" (1995)

After making the right decision last week and calling off the wedding, Usher had a lapse of judgement yesterday and married his girlfriend, who is ten years older than him with three kids and an alledged shady past. He should just give her half of his stuff right now to save the trouble later. You just hate to see it. He should have listened to his mother. Damn, there goes his Confessions money.

The Calvary

Vince is rising from the "dead" on Monday to help boost the ratings. Good luck with that.

And Just Because

It's the Spice Girls' official 2007 team picture. My oh my, things ain't what they used to be.

The Ratings Are In...

(It's an old joke but I can't help myself): Did you catch WWE Raw on Monday? Neither did anyone else. The show did a 2.5 rating on Monday (down from 3.4 the previous week) , which is a ten-year low. In addition, Tuesday's ECW show on the Sci-Fi Network got a 1.29 rating, which is flirting dangerously with the mark TNA Impact gets each week-- and sadly most of the population doesn't even know that show exists. Also, the stock is down. Trouble. I sense they may do something desperate.

They've Done It Again

As if VH-1 isn't monopolizing my time as it is, it looks like they've struck upon another gem of a show. According to perezhilton.com, they are starting a new show called Celebrity Rehab. Among those listed as appearing were Mary Carey, Tom Sizemore, Brigette Nielson and the one and only Joanie "Chyna Doll" Laurer (above). Well, I'm on board.

VH-1 Weekend Shows

The funniest thing this week was the Wrestling Observer noting that Linda said that some episodes of Hogan Knows Best are actually "reinactments" of incidents from real life. I'm sure this week was one of those times. The family had to be in different places so they auditioned bodyguards to send with little Brooke. Hogan chose the fattest guy, who also turned out to be the most annoying. Brooke got rid of him by telling Daddy that he had a crush on her. Another compelling half hour.



Rock of Love continues to get greater each week. I just love the 80's burnout element of this show. I feel like I should watch it while I am wearing a faded blue jean jacket with a wool collar. Anyway, this week the girl with the red hair revealed herself to be a complete PETA psycho and tried to provoke the black girl into a fight. I guess the plan worked as the PETA nut stayed and the black girl got ousted. Next week is crunch time as most of the floaters have gone and one of the girls that the audience is familiar with will be cut. I wish the show could go on for fifty more weeks.